. If it isn't in the right place, go ahead and move it.The Wedding of Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly
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Billy meets Evi
Kaykay gets found
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Billy sits at a table in a fancy restaurant, waiting for Dom to bring his girlfriend in.
Dom and Evi enter, and Billy stands up and walks over to them.
Billy: Hello Dom! And this must be Evangeline? Nice to meet you!
Dom: BILLEH!! *Dom and Billy embrace*
Evi: Nice to meet you too, Billy.
They walk away toward their table.
Away hidden behind a plant, Kaykay sits and watches Billy, Dom and Evi.
Kaykay talks into a tape recorder: ...they sit down at the table, and the waitress comes to take their order--
Waiter: What are you doing there, small one? Going to steal something, I suppose.
The waiter grabs Kaykay by the collar of her shirt.
Kaykay: No, no!! *Kaykay giggles nervously* I’m.. uhh.. performing tonight! I just... *thinking quickly* ...lost my guitar!
Waiter: Oh, sorry my good lady... we have been waiting for you! Don’t worry about your guitar, I’m sure we have one in the back storage room! Follow me!
The waiter walks toward a door on the far side of the room, Kaykay follows nervously.
Meanwhile, Dom, Billy and Evi were chatting at their table.
Billy: Have you found a wedding singer yet? I could--
Dom: NO!! I remember when you sang at my brothers wedding...
Billy: How was I suppose to know he was Catholic!?
Evi: You have a brother?
Dom: Erm.. yeah.. you don’t want to meet him.
Evi: Oh... anyway, no, Billy, we still don’t have a wedding singer.
Billy: I’m always available!
Dom: Yeah, we know that.
Billy: HEY!
Kaykay walks up on stage with a bright blue guitar, and adjusts the microphone to her height.
Kaykay: Hello ladies and gents! My name is Kaykay... and I will be singing tonight!
The crowd silently ignores Kaykay, and she blushes.
Kaykay: Okay, yeah. *strums on guitar*
Kaykay sings: Sweet like a kiss, sharp like a razor blade, I find you when I'm close to the bottom; You can't appreciate the time it takes, to kick a love I always knew was kind of wrong...
Slowly Billy, Dom and Evi turn to face the stage that Kaykay is standing on.
Evi: Are you thinking... what I’m thinking?
Billy: Depends... were you thinking about mushrooms?
Evi: No...
Billy: About... chocolate?
Dom: No you twit! She’s thinking about me!! Duh.
Evi: I think we found our wedding singer.
Billy: Really? Who?
Evi: Oh gawd.
After the song was over, Kaykay decided to go to the salad bar.
Kaykay reads out loud: Corn beef and cabbage salad-- $17?! Wow. Well..
Kaykay reaches into her pocket and brings out her wallet. She counts out $20. While she does this, Billy sneaks up behind her and taps her on the shoulder.
Kaykay: GAH!
Billy: GAH!
Both: GAAH!!
After going on like this for about ten minutes, Kaykay finally controls herself long enough to ask Billy what he wanted.
Kaykay: Hello, what do you want?
Billy: Mushrooms.
Kaykay: Me too!! Let’s order some!
Billy: Okay!
After a couple dozen breaded mushrooms, Billy feels good enough to tell Kaykay what he really wanted.
Billy: So... what’s your name?
Kaykay: Katilyn Mae Perian Ithildin--
Billy: Nickname.
Kaykay: Kaykay.
Billy: Like to sing? Would you be interested in a job?
Kaykay: What kind of a job...?
Billy: A.. wedding singing job.
Kaykay: Yeah. Sure. Who’s getting married?
Billy: A couple of friends of mine, Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly.
Kaykay: WHAT IN THE SHIRE?!
Billy: Yep, it’s really happening. My little Dommy is flying the nest.. *sniffle*
Meanwhile, Dom and Evi are sitting at their table staring at Billy and Kaykay as they ate the mushrooms. Then talked for a half an hour.
Finally they walked over to them.
Dom: BILLY! What in bloody--
Billy: Not in front of the ladies, Dom!
Dom looks at Evi and Kaykay: Sorry, it’s an English dude thing.
Kaykay: ‘s okay. Congrats on the wedding.
Evi and Dom: Thanks.
Kaykay: Oh yeah. I accept the offer! I’ll sing for your wedding.
Billy: Alleluia. Let’s celebrate, drinks on me!
Kaykay: I don’t drink.
Everyone looks at Kaykay in horror.
Kaykay: I’ll just... shut up now.
Billy: Yeah. More mushrooms.
Kaykay: YES! Mushrooms...
Billy: I think I lov-- wait no... it’s the mushrooms.
Kaykay: Whew, scared me for a second.
Dom: He scared us all.
While Dom, Evi, Billy and Kaykay snack on mushrooms, Elijah Wood enters the restaurant.
Elijah: DOM! BILLEH! EVI! *to Kaykay* WHO ARE YOU?!
Kaykay: Katilyn Mae Perian Ithildin Lassell--
Elijah: Nickname.
Kaykay: Why does no one want to hear my full name?!
Billy: Not a clue.
Dom: I know! It’s... purple!
Evi: No... it’s not purple it’s... GREEN!
Elijah: Omigawd! Not GREEN!
Kaykay: I like green...
Billy: OH NO! Wait.. I do too.. Does that make me an alien?
Dom & Elijah: YES!
Billy: NOO!
The next day, Kaykay takes Evi out to find a wedding dress.
While in the car... Keith Anderson sings through the speakers..
Radio: Hey baby what you doing this evening? Can you meet me down at the railroad tracks? I got Tom Petty playin’ in my Silverado and I’ve iced down a six pack, uh-huh...
Kaykay sings along: Hey Billy don’t you--
Evi: Kaykay, do you have something for Billy...?
Kaykay: YES! I mean... NO!!!
Evi: Heehee just wait until Dom finds out about this...
Kaykay: I’ll KILL you first!
Evi immediately shuts up... yet sniggers under her breath.
After getting inside the wedding place, Tommy’s Bridal, Kaykay and Evi walk over to the dresses.
Evi: What do you think... white or peach?
Kaykay: Uhh... what’s the differents?
Evi: Well.. one’s white, and the other is peach!
Kaykay: Oh, it’s so clear now! What were the choices again?
Evi: I’m surrounded by idiots.
Kaykay: Yup! Be one of the few, one of the proud, one of the non-idiots!
Evi: Oh brother.
Kaykay: Oh look... a t-shirt that says ‘Just Married’ on the front! How cute!
After looking for a while, Kaykay and Evi retire to the food court.
Kaykay: I’ll have the ‘Beef and Mushroom’ hamburger please.
Evi: And I’ll... have a...
Kaykay: Don’t take all day about it...
Evi: A... hmm.. how about... a...
Kaykay: CHOOSE! NOW! Or I’m eating without you!
Evi: A MINI PIZZA!
Kaykay: Thank you.
Evi: I didn’t really want one of those..
Kaykay: I DON’T CARE! Heehee...
Evi: What are you laughing at?
Kaykay: That guy looked like Billy... WAIT A SECOND! THAT IS BILLY!
Billy walks over to their table.
Billy: Hey girls! How goes the search?
Evi: KAYKAY LIKES YOU!
Kaykay: SHUT UP YOU.. YOU..
Billy: Uh.. I’m just going to.. umm.. you like me?
Kaykay is flustered: Yes... No... GRR, Evi you are so going to die..
Billy: Anyway…
Evi: It’s going good. Just picked one out, $5000.
Kaykay: Holy shee! Is that what it said? I thought it was $50 dollars…
Billy: Dom is not going to be… amused..
Kaykay: I swear on pizza, I THOUGHT IT WAS $50!
Evi: Kaykay! You expect me to get married in a $50 dollar dress?? ARE YOU INSANE?!
Kaykay: Yes! But that’s not the point…
Later that day, Billy takes Dom out for drinks.
Billy: Kaykay likes me…
Dom: HAHAHAHA… you’re kidding.
Billy: Nope.
Jase walks in.
Jase to bartender: Seen Kaykay lately?
Billy & Dom: You know Kaykay?
Jase: Since we were kids… why?
Billy: She’s… You’re tall.
Jase beams: Yeah.
Dom: She’s singing at my wedding.
Jase: Really? Is this the same Kaykay?!
Billy: Katilyn Mae Perian Ithildin--
Jase: --Lassel Undomiel Kusant?! YAY! KAYKAY!
Dom: Erm… I think so… uhh… Did anyone catch that?
Billy: Uh… no?
Kaykay and Evi walk in.
Kaykay: Jase?!
Jase: Kaykay?!
Kaykay: JASE?!?!
Jase: KAYKAY?!?!
Kaykay: JASE!!!!!!!
Jase: KAYKAY!!!!!!!!
Jase and Kaykay hug.
Dom: Dude… break it up…
Evi: Kaykay… care to introduce us?
Kaykay: Evi! I’m surprised at you!
Evi: What…?
Kaykay: You’re getting MARRIED in two weeks!
Billy: Haha I get it…
Evi: What?!
Jase: Hi, I’m Jase…
Evi: Hi! I’m Evangeline Lily.
Jase: Heh, heh... I know…
Dom: Watch it buddy…
Billy: Dom, I wouldn’t threaten him, he’s what… a foot taller than you?
Dom: I killed hundreds of orcs on LOTR, and then I killed two people on LOST…
Kaykay: I thought it was one person.
Dom: Okay, SO?!
Jase: I am so not scared of you.
Evi: Yeah I mean Dom, he could beat you into a pulp.
Dom turns and orders a shot.
Dom: *burp*
Kaykay: That was nice.
Jase: DO IT AGAIN!!
Billy: Order me one. I’ll give ya a better burp than that.
Dom: BRING IT ON!
Evi: I am surrounded by idiots.
Three days later, after Billy and Dom are done with their hangovers.
Kaykay practices singing with Billy and Jase.
Kaykay: *plays harmonica*
Billy: *plays guitar*
Jase: *plays nose flute*
Kaykay: WAIT!
Everything halts.
Kaykay: They never told us what song they want us to play!
Billy: Maybe we should… I dunno… write something?
Jase: Eek. Last time I wrote a song… wait, I’ve never wrote a song before.
Billy: Maybe we should do a duet!
Kaykay: You really want to sing at their wedding, don’t you?
Billy nods his head and uses his puppy dog eyes.
Kaykay: Aw.. How cute!
Jase: Oh give me a break, Bill.
Kaykay: So cute.. Must say yes…
Jase: FIGHT KAYKAY! FIGHT!
Kaykay: YES! YOU CAN SING WITH ME!
Billy: I bad. I so rocking bad.
Kaykay: But this still leaves the question of what we should sing.
Everyone sits and thinks for an hour or so.
Jase: What about that Shania Twain song… ‘From This Moment On’?
Billy: Singer Ting? WHAT?! Who’s he?
Kaykay: She… and it’s Shania Twain.
Billy: I’m hearing no different s.
Jase: SHA NYE AH TWAY N
Kaykay: *giggle*
Billy: Okay, I got it, Shania Ting!!
Kaykay bursts out laughing: GA HA AHA HA!!
Billy: What?
Another hour later.
Billy: I got it!! SHANIA TWAIN!
Kaykay: I thought you’d get it after we said her last name rhymed with chain.
Jase: Thank pizza, let’s get back to thinking. What do you think, Kaykay?
Kaykay: Yes, ‘From This Moment On’ is a great song…
Billy: I don’t know it.
Jase and Kaykay stare at Billy like he turned into a piece of broccoli.
Jase: How do you not know… this… bad…
Kaykay: Uh… I’ll go get the lyrics and… my Shania Twain CD…
Billy: You do that. I’ll.. Eat these delicious mushrooms.
Jase and Kaykay scatter, Billy eats his mushrooms.
Kaykay: I FOUND THE LYRICS!
Billy: Took you long enough, let me see.
Kaykay hands Billy the lyrics.
Billy: Let’s see… from this moment on yada yada yada, *reads*
Jase: Nice.
Kaykay: CAN WE DO IT?!
Billy: People are going to think things…
Jase laughs hysterically: DUDE! HAHAHA…
Kaykay: That’s great Billy. Just great.
Billy: Yeah, we can sing it.
Kaykay plays the CD.
Billy: Prettyful. What does Shania Twain look like, anyway?
Kaykay hands Billy CD cover: Here.
Billy: Holy shee!!
Jase: Heh, heh… yeah she.. Heh, heh.
Billy: Whee!
Okay, That's all I have so far. I'll post the updates.
