I have scoured pages one and two of the Harlequin Theatre looking for a topic on Wish. You're telling me you have a topic for virtually every talked-about-and-then-completely-forgetten Disney franchise project on Disney+, but you don't have a topic for Walt Disney Animation Studios 100th-anniversary theatrical film? Well darn it, I still have this film at the forefront on my mind because there was so much to say and I'm going to make a topic and say it, gee darn it!
The goat is unfunny, the songs are forgettable, the animation is muted and dull... It's like Disney just forgot how to movie, it's a headscratcher, it's their Earwig and the Witch. Even Strange World had an imaginative world and good-looking animation, this is just nothing, it's a towering pile of absolutely nothing. If you're going to celebrate the great tradition of Disney, then why not bring back someone who'se part of that tradition? Why hire pop-song writers you've never worked with before!? Why not bring back Lin Manuel Miranda, or Alen Menken, (why do they never work with Menken anymore?) Or Richard Sherman? Why did Disney animation not seem to know, while this film was in production, Sherman, one of the greatest parts of Disney's legacy, was still alive and could still write them a song? heck, why not have Miranda, Menken, and Sherman all write songs TOGETHER how epic would that be? Instead, we get this poop. "I let you live here for free, and I don't even charge you rent!" Those mean the same thing! Also, like Doug Walker/Nostalgia Critic pointed out, they don't really even need the book to possess King Magnifico and make him evil! His people just ask him perfectly natural questions and he goes beserk for no good reason! So... why have him be made crazy and evil by the Big Book of Badness? He's already crazy and evil without the Big Book of Badness!
Asha is a boring protagonist. Back in the comments on a reaction to the Wish trailer video before the film even released, I mentioned what the internet is now calling the "adorkable" problem, which there's so many Yotube videos on now Wish has come out. I said, "Asha feels like just another goofy, perky, semi-awkward, woman protagonist, which is pretty much Disney's stock-character at this point (Mirabel, Anna, Moana, Mulan, etc)." Well, now all of Yotube is talking about it because everyone is tired of it. What's worse, Asha is only awkward and silly in the beginning of the movie. Once she starts singing the Wish song, she suddenly becomes reasonably well-poised and remains so for the most part for the rest of the movie! Um. Where did her character go!? And speaking of characters, the side characters, the seven dwarfs (nobody remembers their names, they're just the diet-7-dwarfs) are mildly amusing but they have barely any reason to be here and barely any character. Stanford made a very good point on the Talking Disney Podcast when he said we don't know any of their wishes in *a movie about people's wishes*. what the heck!
Goat-character is obnoxious. The break-dancing chickens seem like a fun idea, I guess it should've been fun. Why wasn't it fun? If the muppets did break-dancing chickens I'd probably think it's hilarious, here I'm just bored. The song the animals sing about being a star is bland and obnoxious pop. I love pop, good pop not spineless pop with messy lyrics including a deer singing "here I are" instead of "here I am" in order to rhyme with star! In the same song, they recite the cliche, "You're a star" and then have the nerve to ask, "Did I just blow your mind?" I could go on and on. But I've rambled enough, I'll wrap it up. This movie is boring. It is RIDDLED with plot-holes and character-issues and it doesn't work. This is DISNEY, Chicken Little is years and years in the past they make movies like Wreck it Ralph and Enchanto and Tangled and Frozen and Big Hero 6 now, what happened!? I have hope for the future, this is the company that made Snow White, and with it began one of the greatest traditions in all of art and entertainment, the animated film. I really hope they turn this around. Because if we keep getting movies like this... woof. Disney ain't going to be around much longer. You can't bomb forever.
Wish
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Pound Foolish
- Tallying up
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Apparently I'm not missing much. Thanks for the lengthy analysis!
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I heard this movie was pretty much a dumpster fire. The first Enchanted movie did a much better job with the Disney easter eggs. The last time Disney movies were this bad the animation studio nearly died. That's when they brought in Jeffrey Katzenberg and Howard Ashman. I'm actually quite sore about the fact that for the Aladdin live action they did not include the Song, "Proud of Your Boy". It got cut in the movie and made its way into the broadway musical, but it should have been in the live action. Ashman really wanted that song to be in the original movie, but I think it got cut for time.
