Edit - please put large sections of text that are copied from another source in quote tags. - CatspawAlabama
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a motor
vehicle.
It is unlawful to wear a false mustache in church and cause "unseemly laughter."
Brewton - it is against the law to travel along the streets in a motorboat.
Mobile - it is illegal for pigeons to eat pebbles from composite roofs.
Alaska
Arizona
Phoenix - the law states that every man who enters the city limits must wear
pants.
Glendale - it is illegal for a car to back up.
Hackberry - there is a city ordinance that prohibits women from eating raw
onions while drinking buttermilk on the Sabbath.
Hayden - it is against the law to disturb bullfrogs or cottontail rabbits
within the city limits.
Arkansas
It is illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas while within
the state.
The state legislature passed a law that the Arkansas River can rise no higher
than the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
California
It is against the law for women to drive while wearing a bathrobe.
It is against the law for animals to mate publicly within 1,500 feet of a
tavern, school, or place of worship.
In some small community, a law was passed that forbid anyone from trying
to stop a child from playfully jumping over water puddles.
Apple Valley - it is illegal for ducks to quack after 10:00 PM within the
city limits.
Bellflower - the law states that "a drunken man has as much right to a sidewalk
as a sober man since he needs it a great deal more."
Bonsall - it is against the law to read the Sunday paper while sitting in
a rocking chair on the front porch while church services are in session.
Berkeley - it is illegal to whistle for a lost canary before 7:00 A.M.
Beverly Hills - the law states that "no male person shall make remarks to
or concerning, or cough or whistle at, or do any other act to attract the
attention of any woman upon or traveling along any of the sidewalks."
Buena Park - the law prohibits males from "turning and looking at a woman
in that way" on the Sabbath. If a second offense occurs, the assailant is
required to "wear horse blinders for a 24-hour period in public."
Camirillo - it is illegal for any man to purchase liquor without the written
consent of his wife.
Carmel - it is against the law to eat ice cream while standing on the
sidewalk.
Castaic - the law states that if a dentist accidentally pulls the wrong tooth,
then the patient has the right to pull one of the dentist's teeth.
Compton - it is against the law to have hip pockets in pants "since that
is a good place to hide liquor."
Costa Mesa - it is illegal to enter a movie theatre within four hours of
eating garlic.
Covina - according to this local law, a husband is not guilty of desertion
if his wife rents his room to a boarder and "crowds him out of his house."
El Monte - it is against the law for a horse to fall asleep in a bathtub
unless the rider is sleeping with the horse.
Gardena - it is illegal for any woman to chew tobacco without having the
permission of her husband.
Glendale - the law allows horror films to be shown only on Mondays, Tuesdays,
and Wednesdays.
Hesperia - the law states that "no one is allowed to duel if the opponent
selects water pistols as weapons."
Inglewood - it is unlawful "for any male person, within the corporate limits
of the city of Inglewood, to wink at any female person with whom he is
unacquainted."
Long Beach - any female attending a dance "must be found wearing a corset.
A physician is required to inspect each female at the dance."
Los Angeles - it is against the law to bathe two babies in the same bathtub
at the same time.
Los Angeles - a man can legally beat his wife with a leather belt or strap,
as long as the strap is no wider than 2 inches. The wife must give her consent
in order for him to legally beat her with a wider strap.
Los Angeles - it is illegal for the customer of a meat market to poke
turkey to see how tender it is.
Malibu - it is against the law to laugh out loud in a movie theatre.
Monrovia - the law states that in order to get married, a man must "prove
his manhood" by shooting six blackbirds or three crows and bringing them
to his prospective father-in-law.
Ojai - it is against the law for a woman to stand within five feet of a bar
when she takes a drink in any public establishment serving alcoholic
beverages.
Ontario - rooster crowing is outlawed within the city limits.
Pacific Grove - bothering the butterflies carries a $500 fine.
Pico River - it is against the law for women weighing over 200 pounds that
are attired in shorts to ride a horse.
Pomona - the law states that "no person shall hallo, shout, bawl, scream,
use profane language, dance, sing, whoop, quarrel, or make any unusual noise
or sound in any house in such a manner as to disturb the peace and quiet
of the neighborhood."
Prunedale - it is illegal to have two indoor bathtubs in your house.
Rosemead - it is against the law to eat ice cream in public with a fork.
Riverside - it is illegal to carry a lunchbucket on the street.
Riverside - it is illegal to stick your tongue out "in the direction of"
a dog.
San Francisco - there is a law that guarantees sunshine for the people.
Santa Ana - it is illegal to swim on dry land.
Santa Ana - it is against the law for a horse to sleep in a bakery.
Santa Monica - the law states that "any person who shall in the city of Santa
Monica use or carry a concealed or unconcealed any bean snapper or like article,
shall, upon conviction, be fined."
Temecula - it is illegal to play cards with children or pregnant women on
the curb of a street.
Upland - it is unlawful for the owner or keeper of horses, mules, cattle,
sheep, goats, and hogs to "run at large."
Ventura - it is illegal to make "ugly faces" at dogs that are found "freely
roaming the community".
Victorville - it is against the law to shoot open canned goods with a
revolver.
Whittier - the law states "two vehicles which are passing each other in opposite
directions shall have the right of way."
Colorado
The state passed a law making it legal to rip the tags off of pillows and
mattresses.
Denver - it is illegal to perform acrobatics that might frighten horses.
Denver - it is illegal to mistreat rats.
Denver - it is against the law to loan your vacuum cleaner to your next door
neighbor.
Pueblo - it is against the law to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within
the city limits.
Sterling - it is unlawful to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.
Connecticut
According to state law, in order for a pickle to be qualified as a pickle,
it must bounce.
The law states that anyone caught biking at over 65 miles per hour will be
ticketed.
Devon - it is against the law to walk backwards after sunset.
Hartford - it is illegal to educate a dog.
Hartford - it is illegal to walk across the street on your hands.
DC
It is illegal for small boys to throw stones.
Delaware
It is against the law to pawn a wooden leg.
Florida
It is illegal for a single, divorced, or widowed woman to parachute on
Sunday.
It is against the law to fall asleep under a hair dryer. The people that
break the law and the salon owners can be fined for this.
The law states that if an elephant is tied to a parking meter, it must pay
the same fees as a car.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while in a bathing suit.
It is illegal for men to be seen in public wearing a strapless gown.
Miami - it is illegal to molest alligators.
Miami - it is illegal to imitate animals.
Key West - it is against the law to hold a turtle race within the
city limits.
Tampa Bay - it is against the law for rats to leave docked ships.
Georgia
It is illegal for a barber to advertise his prices.
Atlanta - It is illegal to tie giraffes to street lamps.
Conyers - an ordinance was passed that prohibits saying the phrase
"two fried eggs and a fritter for a quarter" in an attempt to prohibit
slang talkin'.
Jonesboro - It is illegal to say "Oh, boy."
Quitman - It is against the law for chickens to cross streets.
Hawaii
It is illegal to put pennies in your ear.
Idaho
According to state law, it is illegal for a man to give his "sweetheart"
a box of candy weighing less than 50 pounds.
Idaho Falls - it is against the law for anyone over the age of 88 to ride
a motorcycle.
Pocatello - the states that "the carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden,
unless the same are exhibited to public view."
Tamarack - it is illegal to purchase onions after dark without a special
permit from the sheriff.
Illinois
Chicago - it is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.
Cicero - it is against the law to hum on public streets on Sunday.
Decatur - it is against the law to drive a car without a steering wheel.
Joliet - it is against the law for a woman to try on more than six
dresses in one store.
Kirkland - it is illegal for bees to fly over the town or in any of its
streets.
Oblong - it is illegal to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding
day.
Winnetka - it is legal for the manager of a theatre to kick out anyone
that has "odiferous feet."
Zion - it is illegal to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated
animals kept as pets.
Indiana
According to state law, once your breath leaves your body, it is no longer
your property.
It is illegal to bathe in the winter.
Elkhart - it is against the law for a barber to threaten to cut off a youngster's
ears.
Gary - citizens are not allowed to attend a public theatre or ride in public
transportation within four hours of eating garlic.
South Bend - it is illegal for a monkey to smoke cigarettes. Violators
are fined 25 dollars.
Iowa
According to the law, kisses may last for as much as, but no more than five
minutes.
Marshalltown - it is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants.
Kansas
It is illegal to catch fish with your bare hands.
Lawrence - it is against the law to carry bees in your hat.
McLough - it is illegal to wash your dentures in a public drinking
fountain.
Natoma - it is agianst the law to practice knife throwing at men in
striped suits.
Russell - it is against the law to have a musical car horn.
Kentucky
It is against the law to ask a girl in a *warm winter parka* for a date.
The law states that "no female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway
unless she is escorted by at least two officers of the law or unless she
be armed with a club". An amendment to the law says that "the provisions
of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor
to females exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."
Lexington - It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.
Owensboro - it is against the law for a woman to buy a new hat without
her husband first trying it on.
Louisiana
According to state law, it is legal to grow as tall as you like.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot the teller with a water pistol.
The law states that biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault",
while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
Maine
Portland - it is illegal to tickle a girl under the chin with a
feather duster.
Rumford - it is against the law to bite your landlord.
Waterville - it is against the law to blow your nose in public.
Maryland
State law prohibits lions from attending the theatre.
Baltimore - it is illegal to throw a bale of hay from a second floor
window.
Massachusets
It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
The law states that all dogs must have their hind legs tied for the month
of April.
It is illegal to deliver diapers on Sunday.
It is against the law to cool one's feet by hanging it out the window.
It is illegal to eat peanuts in court.
It is illegal for anyone at a wake to eat more than three sandwiches.
It is against the law for taxi drivers to make love in the front seat during
their shift.
It is illegal to kiss in front of a church.
All PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) are illegal on Sunday.
It is illegal to take loins to the theatre.
It is legal to allow one's livestock to graze on public grounds except on
Sunday.
Boston - it is illegal to have frog-jumping contests within the city
limits.
Boston - it is against the law to take more than 2 baths a month.
Fitchburg - it is illegal for barbers to carry combs in the back of their
ears.
Holyoke - it is against the law to water your lawn when it is raining.
Michigan
According to law, if a man and wife kiss on Sunday, the guilty party shall
be punished.
It is against the law for a woman to cut her hair without her husband's
permission.
Clawson – there is a law that states that "it is legal for a farmer
to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."
Grand Haven - it is illegal to abandon a hoopskirt on any public street or
sidewalk, with a penalty of $5 for each offense.
Rochester - the law states that anyone appearing in public in a bathing suit
must have it inspected by a police officer.
Minnesota
Blue Earth - it is illegal for anyone under the age of 12 to use a telephone
without the supervision of an adult.
Mississippi
Canton - it is illegal to kill a squirrel in a courtroom with a gun.
Hazelhurst - it is illegal to transport a fish on any street.
Meridian - it is against the law to roll a safe down the street on
its wheels.
Star - it is against the law to make fun of public buildings.
Missouri
State law has a provision that allows any city in the state to levy a
tax to support a band, provided that "the mayor plays piccolo and each
band member can eat peas with a knife."
It is illegal to carry an uncaged bear down the highway.
St. Louis - it is against the law to drink beer from a bucket on any street
curb.
Montana
Sheridan - it is illegal for dogs to come within four feet of a fire
hydrant.
Nebraska
According to the law, parents can be arrested if their child does not hold
back a burp in church services.
Lehigh - it is illegal to sell doughnut holes.
Omaha - it is against the law for a barber to shave a man's chest.
Nevada
Las Vegas - it is illegal to pawn your dentures.
New Jersey
It is illegal to detain a homing pigeon.
Manville - it is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the
zoo.
New Mexico
It is illegal for females to appear unshaven in public.
White Horse - the law states that no married woman shall eat onions on the
Sabbath unless she is "properly looked after." This means that her spouse
must "follow 20 paces behind carrying a loaded musket over his left shoulder."
New York
According to law, it is a misdemeanor to arrest a dead man.
It is illegal to flirt with a woman, punishable by $25 fine.
Albany - it is illegal to play golf on the street.
Carmel - it is illegal for a man to appear in public with pants and shirt
that do not match.
Greene - it is against the law to eat peanuts and walk backwards when a concert
is on.
New York City - it is against the law to have an unclothed mannequin in a
store window.
New York City - according to the law, "it is legal for a woman to ride the
subway topless since it is legal for a man to ride the subway topless."
Staten Island - it is illegal to water your lawn with a sprinkler.
North Calironia
According to state law, it its illegal to use elephants to plow cotton
fields.
It is illegal to sing out of tune.
Asheville - it is illegal to sneeze within the city limits.
Wade Mills - it is against the law to purchase or eat ice cream 30 minutes
before church on Sunday.
Wintson-Salem - it is against the law for children under the age of seven
to go to college.
North Dakota
It is against the law to serve beer and pretzels at the same time in a bar
or restaurant.
Ohio
It is illegal for women to wear patent leather shoes in public.
Bexley - Ordinance #223 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines
in outhouses.
Cleveland - it is illegal to operate a motor vehicle while sitting in someone's
lap.
Clinton County - it is against the law to lean on a public building at risk
of a fine.
Oxford - it is against the law for a woman to strip off her clothing while
standing in front of a man's picture.
Paulding – the law states that a policeperson may bite a dog to quiet
it.
Oklahoma
According to state law, it is illegal to take a bite out of someone else's
hamburger.
It is against the law to get a fish drunk.
It is illegal for a female to cut her own hair without a license from the
state.
Cushing - it is against the law to drink beer in your underwear. Violators
can be ticketed.
Duncan - it is illegal to wash your clothes in a birdbath.
Hawthorne - according to city Ordinance #363, it is against the law to put
a hypnotized person in a display window.
Shawnee - it is against the law for three or more dogs to meet on someone's
property without a permit signed by the mayor.
Oregon
Hood River - it is illegal to juggle without a license.
Pennsylvania
According to state law, it is illegal to have over 16 women living together
in one house because that "constitutes a brothel."
According to state law, it is illegal to sing in the bathtub.
A special ordinance prohibits homemakers from hiding dirt or dust under the
rug of a home.
York - it is illegal to sit down while using a water hose.
South Carolina
Greenville - it is illegal to sell whiskey unless the sun is shining.
Tennesse
Memphis - it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man
running or walking in front of it, waving a red flag to warn approaching
motorists and pedestrians.
Texas
According to state law, "when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing,
each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other
has gone." Apparently, a state senator did not want a particular law passed,
so he added this ridiculous law onto it, but no one noticed it, and so both
laws passed.
Abilene - a city ordinance states that "it is illegal to idle or loiter within
the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing."
Commerce - it is illegal to climb a telephone pole unless you are
payed to do so.
Corpus Christi - it is against the law to raise alligators in your home.
Galveston - it is illegal for camels to wander around freely.
Plano - it is against the law to sale foam alligators at parades.
Utah
State law prohibits fishing from horseback.
Vermont
A law makes it mandatory for everyone to take a bath every week on Saturday
night.
Rutland - it is illegal to allow your car to backfire.
It is illegal to whistle underwate. (Thanks Brian)
Virginia
It is illegal to visit a cemetery for any other reason than visiting the
deceased.
It is against the law to have a bathtub inside your home.
Washington
According to state law, it is illegal to paint polka dots on the American
flag.
It is illegal to have possession of a lollipop.
A small community passed an ordinance that stated the following: "It is mandatory
for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone
the chief of police as he is entering town."
Seattle - it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is longer than 6
feet.
Spokane - it is illegal to purchase a television on the Sabbath.
Wilbur - it is illegal to ride an ugly horse.
West Virginia
Peewee - it is against the law to eat onions in the local cemetery.
Nicholas County - it is illegal for a preacher to tell jokes or humorous
stories from the pulpit.
Wyoming
It is against the law to take a picture of a rabbit in the months of January,
February, March, or April.
Dumb Laws
some of these makes you wonder what they were thinking
- Pretty_Pink
- Not as new
- Posts: 49
- Joined: July 2008
- Location: i am some where not sure where exactly...
Dumb Laws
Dont make me come down there
-God
-God
- Over the Rainbow
- Blissfully Oblivious
- Posts: 3086
- Joined: March 2008
- Location: ...somewhere over the rainbow...
They're not necessarily dumb, just unusual. A lot of them may have been passed in order to foil attempts to get around other laws. Some could have motivated by racism , etc. too.
Please do not quote huge posts like this, as it makes it rather difficult to read while scrolling through. -J-man.
Please do not quote huge posts like this, as it makes it rather difficult to read while scrolling through. -J-man.
- Iron and Light
- Night is Falling
- Posts: 5180
- Joined: December 2007
- Location: Las Vegas
Umm... are you sure that those are real and not fake? Like, the law about it being 'illegal to ride and ugly hours' seems rather too ridiculous to be real. Define 'ugly.' Everyone has a different definition of the word, and who is to say that one person's idea of ugly is correct when another person's is not? Honestly, that's absurd. You'll get hauled in to pay a fine because the officer saw you riding a horse he deemed ugly
?


-
- I'm memorable
- Posts: 1503
- Joined: November 2005
I'm guessing a good deal of those are case laws... people who were taken to court and lost/not lost for various reasons, others are probably very old and would never be enforced, if they were, I imagine the law would be thrown out.
But the one about it being illegal to drive cars without steering wheels from Illinois... That is because they were having difficulties with people stealing cars by removing the steering column, hotwiring it, and driving with a pair of pliers. But in order to have reasonable cause to pull someone over, they passed that law about requiring steering wheels. So everyone who's busted by that law ALSO will shortly be proven to have stolen cars, but it just makes it easier to legally catch them in the first place.
But the one about it being illegal to drive cars without steering wheels from Illinois... That is because they were having difficulties with people stealing cars by removing the steering column, hotwiring it, and driving with a pair of pliers. But in order to have reasonable cause to pull someone over, they passed that law about requiring steering wheels. So everyone who's busted by that law ALSO will shortly be proven to have stolen cars, but it just makes it easier to legally catch them in the first place.
- King Butter Turtle
- Expecting a battle
- Posts: 4706
- Joined: March 2008
- Location: Marus
- Contact:
Oh, so that's why the cops came in and took my parents this morning.Pretty_Pink wrote:Nebraska
According to the law, parents can be arrested if their child does not hold
back a burp in church services.


Woops.Pretty_Pink wrote:Omaha - it is against the law for a barber to shave a man's chest.

Please note the lack of stupidity from AK.
Lisa Hammit - 1991-2011 - Forever strong in Christ
I'll make a note to never visit Waterville, Maine or Asheville, North Carolina during cold and flu season!
A quote thought to be misattributed to Mark Twain: "The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco."
Most days there are overcast. Does that mean I get my money back?San Francisco - there is a law that guarantees sunshine for the people.

"I know nothing about internet dating sites other than the ToO." - Baragon
-
- I'm memorable
- Posts: 1503
- Joined: November 2005
I'm *guessing* that's case law, where someone building a huge high rise building right beside a smaller house had to compensate the house owner for the loss of sunlight due to the huge building next door... Dunno though.darcie wrote:I'll make a note to never visit Waterville, Maine or Asheville, North Carolina during cold and flu season!
Most days there are overcast. Does that mean I get my money back?San Francisco - there is a law that guarantees sunshine for the people.A quote thought to be misattributed to Mark Twain: "The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco."
- StupendousMan
- Catspaw Rocks!
- Posts: 749
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: Odyssey
- Contact:
- Stubborn
- Expecting a battle
- Posts: 4627
- Joined: December 2005
- Location: Somewhere in the middle
- Contact:
Regis Blackbeard wrote:I didn't see that one, can you post it?Over The Rainbow wrote:Those are hilarious!
And the next time a guy asks me out when I'm at the pool in my *warm winter parka*, I'll be sure to have him arrested for breaking the law.
This is why I'm not going to become a lawyer.Pretty_Pink wrote: Kentucky
It is against the law to ask a girl in a *warm winter parka* for a date.


don't forget the rain.
- Dr. Watson
- Be positive!
- Posts: 5568
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: 221B Baker Street
*guffaws* I express similar sentiments to those posted by the user above me.Dr. Watson wrote:Ha, look at the long list under California...

ToO siblings: Donna Blackbeard, Perron, Evil Chick, American Eagle, Stubborn, Shadowfax, and thelordismyshepherd (aka Anna), but StrongNChrist is my twin!
StrongNChrist, deceased 03-25-11, requiescat in pace



- Danielle Abigail Maxwell
- Odyssey Book Author
- Posts: 7111
- Joined: January 2006
- Location: Denver, CO
- Contact:
Okay... So, Richard Maxwell and Dr. B fighting is out? Oh darn... that was a good story too...the law states that "no one is allowed to duel if the opponent
selects water pistols as weapons."

Oh no! I have two babies! Wait, why can't I bathe them at the same time? Oh, because there is a LAW... darn it.Los Angeles - it is against the law to bathe two babies in the same bathtub at the same time.
*Stifles laugh while watching TDK* See, I'm HOLDING in my laugh...Malibu - it is against the law to laugh out loud in a movie theatre.
I knew I was going to jail for something... I guess I did break the rules... ooops... oh well... I like two indoor bathtubs though!Prunedale - it is illegal to have two indoor bathtubs in your house.
How would the horse GET into the bakery? That's my first question...Santa Ana - it is against the law for a horse to sleep in a bakery.
Sorry Tim! Can't let you have that! I can't risk jail time anymore!Denver - it is against the law to loan your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor.
Can you really stop weeds from going ANYWHERE?Pueblo - it is against the law to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits.
I couldn't stop laughing. NO JOKE!Sterling - it is unlawful to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.
Wait, so are we saying that my veggie food can now be called a pickle? I mean, come on, you all know Big Franks can bounce. I mean, "veggie food, keep you bouncing through life." (Daddy). I didn't think Linketts could though... uh oh...According to state law, in order for a pickle to be qualified as a pickle, it must bounce.
Are there any cross-dressers here? ANY AT ALL? I want you to wear this strapless gown! Just a night in jail is all!It is illegal for men to be seen in public wearing a strapless gown.
DARN IT! I was going to race my prized turtle too.. KBT!Key West - it is against the law to hold a turtle race within the
city limits.
"Go on, rats, go on. I won't get caught letting you into the city!"Tampa Bay - it is against the law for rats to leave docked ships.
"Oh, see, it's cool. There may be a fire, but we are fine. It's over there, not here. Wait, what? There is a law stating we can't eat here because of that fire? Well I'll be... Can I have this to go?"Chicago - it is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.
No joke, WHO THOUGHT THIS ONE UP????According to state law, once your breath leaves your body, it is no longer your property.
You know, I always knew my horse was doing SOMETHING weird when I saw yellow paint on her teeth the other day... guess she broke the law...Marshalltown - it is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants.
Sweet! I want to be 10 ft. tall please!According to state law, it is legal to grow as tall as you like.
Haha... I find this HILARIOUS.The law states that biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
No, judge, I was NOT eating peanuts in your courtroom. I was feeding them to my parakeet. See?It is illegal to eat peanuts in court.
It is illegal to kiss in front of a church.
Well, there went all the marriages...
Again, there went marriages... and everything else... hehe...All PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) are illegal on Sunday.
Now THAT is an OXYMORON...Holyoke - it is against the law to water your lawn when it is raining.
Again, NO, judge, I did not bring a gun into your courtroom to kill a squirrel. I was just wanting to "play" with it... oh, so having a gun is illegal too now?Canton - it is illegal to kill a squirrel in a courtroom with a gun.
The rule was broken two seconds ago... oh, happened again...Sheridan - it is illegal for dogs to come within four feet of a fire
hydrant.

Sorry, had to do that... those are all HILARIOUS!