Deal-breakers

Evil Chick · Post by **Evil Chick** » Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:37 pm

So, honestly, what would be a deal-breaker for you in a relationship? Like seriously, people... What are things that are absolutely essential to you in a future spouse? (Or if you already have one, what were non-negotiables for you when you were dating your now-spouse?)

The Top Crusader · Post by **The Top Crusader** » Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:13 pm

I utterly refused to date/court/marry a man.

oy_mate · Post by **oy_mate** » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:05 pm

religion and politics.
I would stop being interested the minute I discovered one of these was off.

Ruthie · Post by **Ruthie** » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:15 pm

Religion.

+word

V-lady · Post by **V-lady** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:28 am

Definitely different spiritual views. And also if they were too harsh, strict, or serious. I'm serious enough myself...

The Top Crusader · Post by **The Top Crusader** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:14 am

oy_mate wrote:religion and politics.
I would stop being interested the minute I discovered one of these was off.

I agree to an extent. I mean its almost impossible to find someone with 100% the same views on all theology and politics... but you've got to be at least around 90% or so.

oy_mate · Post by **oy_mate** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:34 am

The Top Crusader wrote:
oy_mate wrote:religion and politics.
I would stop being interested the minute I discovered one of these was off.

I agree to an extent. I mean its almost impossible to find someone with 100% the same views on all theology and politics... but you've got to be at least around 90% or so.

I def agree on that. It'd be very rare to find someone with the exact same beliefs. But I'm meaning more like, for example...if they were some cult member christian or something. AHH! No KOOL-AID!

Baragon · Post by **Baragon** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:29 am

The Top Crusader wrote:
oy_mate wrote:religion and politics.
I would stop being interested the minute I discovered one of these was off.

I agree to an extent. I mean its almost impossible to find someone with 100% the same views on all theology and politics... but you've got to be at least around 90% or so.

Death penalty!

Shad Lexer · Post by **Shad Lexer** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:49 am

The Top Crusader wrote:
oy_mate wrote:religion and politics.
I would stop being interested the minute I discovered one of these was off.

I agree to an extent. I mean its almost impossible to find someone with 100% the same views on all theology and politics... but you've got to be at least around 90% or so.

Yeah, that's about it for me.

And a man, like Top said.

Tehswift · Post by **Tehswift** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 11:57 am

Yeah, pretty much the same as what everyone else said

Some non-requirments but things that would be nice are:

Good cook and isn't messy. Those mainly go for me X)

However, I wouldn't mind if I was a good cook my self

EK · Post by EK » Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:08 pm

I'd have to say...if they smell bad.

Danielle Abigail Maxwell · Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:29 pm

Essential in my future spouce? They have to be Adventist. Have some faith in God... (unlike Tim... wait, shouldn't say that). Believe in God. (And at least go to church on Saturday...) just my preference.. to say.

Oh, and they have to clean-up after themselves.. unlike my father, and my Aunt and Uncle. They also have to help with the house chores...

: )

Manda · Post by **Manda** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:32 pm

Faith, if he wasn't a christian I wouldn't consider him anymore then just a friend. That's about it I think!

greencardigan · Post by **greencardigan** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:47 pm

They have to be able to have an intelligent conversation with me. Also, it would be great if they enjoyed the same kind of music; or is a nerd.

Dr. Watson · Post by **Dr. Watson** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:11 pm

1. Has to be a growing Christian who loves the Lord with all her heart.

2. Has to have a loving relationship with her parents.

3. Has to be of the Calvinist ilk.

4. Has to embrace the homeschooling of our future children.

5. Has to embrace an anti birth control stance.

6. No devil music.

There are others, but these are the major ones. Any discrepancies in these and she's pretty much off my list of consideration.

Shad Lexer · Post by **Shad Lexer** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:16 pm

I pretty much agree, all but the last three! $\:D/$

Devil music FTW!

Dr. Watson · Post by **Dr. Watson** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:19 pm

Ziff wrote:I pretty much agree, all but the last three! $\:D/$

Devil music FTW!

You're off my list of consideration!

Ruthie · Post by **Ruthie** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:20 pm

Ziff wrote:I pretty much agree, all but the last three! $\:D/$

Devil music FTW!

Agreed.

+word

Kait · Post by **Kait** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 11:17 pm

The Top Crusader wrote:
oy_mate wrote:religion and politics.
I would stop being interested the minute I discovered one of these was off.

I agree to an extent. I mean its almost impossible to find someone with 100% the same views on all theology and politics... but you've got to be at least around 90% or so.

I've got...a...friend...er...yeah. And he and I actually have yet to find something we disagree on

The day we do, will be the day I rejoice! $\:D/$

And as far as deal breakers...erm...*gets list*

Kait's Condensed List of Traits She Would Like in the Husband She Will Most Likely Never Find wrote:General stuff:

- Cares more about his family then anything else besides God.
- Likes and wants kids
- Is willing to make sacrifices for me and his family
- Must love me for who I am and not who he wants me to be
- Should NOT try to change me
- Must be hard-working and not a bum >:1

Personality wise:

- Doesn't take things too personally and isn't ultra sensitive
- Would like him to be romantic, and fun loving
- He should make me laugh
- Is laid back
- Is kind and understanding
- MUST possess an awesome sense of humour

Belief wise:

- Must love the Torah and have a passion for finding the truth.
- Must have the same, or very similar beliefs
- Must be open-minded
- Must be willing to take the spiritual and physical leadership of the household and "wear the pants"
- Needs to be willing to actually listen to what I have to say, and allow me to be part of the decision making
- Want to homeschool kids

Bonus material:

- Taller than me, with brown hair, green eyes, and a muscular bodeh. xD
- 'Twould be nice if he had money...but...I wouldn't ever marry based on that.

Pretty much, I don't think I'd be able to marry the guy if he didn't have one of those things

Sherlock · Post by **Sherlock** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 1:06 am

Dr. Watson wrote:1. Has to be a growing Christian who loves the Lord with all her heart.

2. Has to have a loving relationship with her parents.

3. Has to be of the Calvinist ilk.

4. Has to embrace the homeschooling of our future children.

5. Has to embrace an anti birth control stance.

6. No devil music.

There are others, but these are the major ones. Any discrepancies in these and she's pretty much off my list of consideration.

Come now Watson, you mean you wouldn't consider 3 out of 6? Shoot.

As I believe a healthy level of personality difference enhances any relationship, I've refined a list to include the attributes I feel will most foster this sense of disagreement:

1. A terrible, misanthropic personality, not at all suitable for polite company
2. An unsubstantiated loathing for all things feline.
3. Homeless or at least on negative terms with his landlord.
4. Unemployed (preferably without benefits).
5. Utterly worthless at all things mechanical.
6. An utterly incomprehensible love of canned and artifically preserved foodstuffs.
7. A bewildering sense of loyalty to the Democratic Party which he will substantiate with such moving and heartfelt comments as "Yes, we can."
8. Extensive experience with the juvenile justice system.
9. Significant dislike for the arts, with the exception of modern, progressive art.
10. Thorough knowledge and familiarity with all available cable and local access television channels.
11. An irrational devotion to some household monstrosity, preferably a recliner or an electric can opener.