Odyssey Character Quotes

[Catspaw]

Nathaniel Graham: "I mean, I'm happy to be your friend, but we'd rather not let the neighbors know." - The Life Trials of the Rich and Famous

Bernard Walton

[Polehaus53]

Bernard Walton: I'm thinking of a, uh, thing. You have twenty questions to guess what it is.
Eugene Meltsner: Is it corn?
Bernard Walton: <beat> I don't wanna play anymore.

This quote always makes me laugh. Whenever I play twenty questions, I always make it corn. Or if I'm the guesser, I start by guessing corn.

Next character: Wyatt Perkins

[Bananareader]

Wyatt Perkins: Is he one of those people who think that Propane Torch are dangerous in the hands of children?
Mathew Parker: Yes he is.
(Man of the House)
I couldn’t use the AIO wiki for this one due to the fact that it doesn’t have any Wyatt quotes.
Next Character: Bart Rathbone

[Patterson]

Bart: Whit's End! I think we'd all agree that it's a great area of town! Why, it's next to such great businesses as The Electric Palace, which is having a sale on slightly damaged double A batteries, by the way. But, let's take a look around!
Connie: Ey, this here's where Whit makes his sundaes at a pretty competitive price. Now, don't get yours hopes up, there. They're not like the stuperendous prices at the Electric Palace, but c'mon — can everyone sell blenders for $49.99 plus tax?
Whit: And this here's the library, where there are books. But these ain't books you can keep; oh no! You'll have to retoin em. At The Electric Palace, though, you can buy things that you don't have to bring back.
Bart: Whit's End! The store just around the corner from The Electric Palace!
*Ad finishes*
Bart: So what did I tell yuhs?!
Wooton: Oh, cool! I've been looking for some slightly damaged batteries!
Connie *angrily*: I don't think I'd ever use a word like 'stuperendous'!
Tom: Bart, it's...it's... Well, how should I say this? It's...
Bart: A great idea! I know!
Whit: Well, actually, I think Bart may be on to something.
Everyone: What??!

Sorry for the wall of text, but the scene was so hilarious, I just had to keep going.

Next Character: Jules Kendall

[Bananareader]

“ Connie Kendall: How about telling me what's really going on?
Jules Kendall: I don't know how.
Connie Kendall: Words, strung together in a coherent "thing-a-ma-jig" would be a good start!
Jules Kendall: Well...
Penny Bassett: <enters room> Connie!
Connie Kendall: <To Penny> What's wrong?
Penny Bassett: I don't know how to say it.
Jules Kendall: Words. Strung together in a coherent-
Connie Kendall: Not funny, Jules!
”
Next Character: Maude Walton

[Patterson]

"I didn't recognize you without your face being purple!"

Next Character: Jacques Henri

[Bananareader]

Jacques Henri: I have known my share of temperamental artists, and she is certainly one of them.

Next Character: Fred Holstein

[Catspaw]

I love Fred Holstein, and actually used a variation of one of his lines on an unsuspecting person just today! I can't remember it exactly, so I picked a different one I could find to share, but the one I used was something about bringing a tear to his cheek.

Fred Holstein: I can only suspect that they were not knowledgeable thieves with knowingness.

Next character: Buck Oliver

[Bananareader]

Buck Oliver: What was going on?
Jay Smouse: A friend of my uncle's got sick.
Buck Oliver: Is that why the cops were around?
Jay Smouse: Yeah. You know, they take sickness seriously around here, so...
Buck Oliver: It's a crime to get sick in this town?
Next Character: Jenny Whittaker-Dowd.

[Justine Baker]

Jenny: Jenny Whittaker-Dowd please. It’s hyphenated.
Violin instructor: Oh right. Those hyphens always get me.

Next: Regis Blackgaard

[Wod Fam Choc Sod]

Connie: You have more loopholes than a spaghetti strainer!
Regis Blackgaard: Ah, yes, that Odyssian humor...

Next: Robert Mitchell

[Catspaw]

Wod Fam Choc Sod, that's one of my favourite quotes.

Robert Mitchell: It's still your turn.
Connie Kendall: Still?
Robert Mitchell: And it will remain your turn until you bowl into our lane.

Next: Bernard Walton

[Perilous Pen]

Bernard: You’ve been running nonstop ever since you got back, it’s no wonder you look so tired.
Whit: I look tired?
Bernard: Those bags under your eyes aren’t for your wallet and keys, Whit!

Next Character: Jay Smouse