So it's very simple really: you place an order below and I PM you an Amazing Quote generated by...
the ONE
the ONLY
me. With some help from my crazy brain
Options and prices are below:
Questions or comments? Post here or PM me
Thanks for stopping by! Returning customers will receive a discount. Must give credit to author when using quote; failure to do so may result in court case. No refunds. Not responsible for possible injuries, death, or lawsuits, nor insulted friends, neighbors, family members, acquaintances, strangers, or any other persons. Speak with manager for more information.
Hello.
We are still open just so you are aware and I'm not busy at this time of year so the orders should be sent much more quickly than before (sorry about that).
Limited time only!
We are having a Christmas sale: everything is 50% off from December 15th through January 1st. Quotes work great as gifts or to brighten someone's day. PLUS for a limited time we will have special Christmas quotes! They are perfect for a Christmas card or anything else you can come up with. Don't wait, this special event won't last long!
Limited time prices
Crazy quote: $2
Serious quote: $5
Custom: $3.50
Christmas: $4 (Please be sure to mention if you are preferring a serious or crazy Christmas quote)
Another way to order besides commenting below is to PM me. Whatever is easiest for you! To get notifications on sales and special events, and to receive coupons, PM Parakeet with code word: LIGHTNING
UPDATE: Sale is being extended until January 20th for the New Year
Thank you dear! 
and I'm not busy at this time of year so the orders should be sent much more quickly than before (sorry about that).
To get notifications on sales and special events, and to receive coupons, PM Parakeet with code word: LIGHTNING