CRESTWOOD CLOSURE PENDING
Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2022 4:22 pm
Bob is surrounded by reporters, outside of Crestwood Avenue. Police cars and tape have blocked off both sides of the road. Bob clears his throat, then makes a statement:
"You are all aware of the crises that have hit our town's economy over the past years: the depression that led to a historically bad unemployment rate, the closure of the stock exchange, the changes in ownership and eventual collapse of the Town bank. With supply issues, there haven't been many goods to purchase in stores, and it'd be hard to buy them if there were; between counterfeiting, mass robbery, and the circumstances behind the recent currency recalls, it feels difficult to find a legitimate dollar in the Town here anymore. It is an understatement to say that we owe much to the generosity of the town's patrons who have kept our institutions going during this hard time, at their own expense."
"I'm not saying this as a prelude to running for office. Rather, I am convinced that these happenings were not accidental or unplanned, and as your new Chief of Police, I can tell you that we are beginning an extensive investigation into these matters."
"But on our business here today, you can see that Crestwood Avenue has taken the brunt of the trouble. Most of the buildings here, for companies that have been forced to close their doors, have fallen into disrepair and have become both a safety hazard and an eyesore. As such, I'm announcing that we are beginning the process of closing down this section of town to the public, until such a time as the economy is healthy enough to support its renovation. The city administration believes this is essential to serve and protect our community."
"Thanks for your time and attention."
"You are all aware of the crises that have hit our town's economy over the past years: the depression that led to a historically bad unemployment rate, the closure of the stock exchange, the changes in ownership and eventual collapse of the Town bank. With supply issues, there haven't been many goods to purchase in stores, and it'd be hard to buy them if there were; between counterfeiting, mass robbery, and the circumstances behind the recent currency recalls, it feels difficult to find a legitimate dollar in the Town here anymore. It is an understatement to say that we owe much to the generosity of the town's patrons who have kept our institutions going during this hard time, at their own expense."
"I'm not saying this as a prelude to running for office. Rather, I am convinced that these happenings were not accidental or unplanned, and as your new Chief of Police, I can tell you that we are beginning an extensive investigation into these matters."
"But on our business here today, you can see that Crestwood Avenue has taken the brunt of the trouble. Most of the buildings here, for companies that have been forced to close their doors, have fallen into disrepair and have become both a safety hazard and an eyesore. As such, I'm announcing that we are beginning the process of closing down this section of town to the public, until such a time as the economy is healthy enough to support its renovation. The city administration believes this is essential to serve and protect our community."
"Thanks for your time and attention."