OK, sorry about my last post people. I totally screwed up the voting thing. Allow me to try this again!7 Phases of a Godly Courtship:
If you haven’t read my previous blog on a “worldly courtship,” I suggest that you backtrack a little before you continue here.
God’s order of friendship, courtship, and marriage is first to emphasize spiritual oneness in friendship, then oneness of soul in engagement, and finally physical consummation in marriage. This same order is given by Paul as he prays for our complete sanctification: “…I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
The following are seven phases of a Godly Courtship. It’s what I like to call the “right way” to go about dating.
1. Eye 2 Virtue
In the book of Ruth, Boaz was attracted to Ruth before he ever saw her. He heard good reports about her character. He was impressed with the loyalty she demonstrated to her widowed mother-in-law and the diligence she demonstrated in unselfishly caring for her needs.
* Developed by financial freedom
“A gracious woman retained honor: and strong men retain riches” (Proverbs 11:16).
Boaz learned the disciplines of character that go with achieving financial freedom by maintaining a successful farm while others fled the country because of drought.
* MAKE A COVENANT WITH YOUR EYES:
A prerequisite for Godly courtship is to purpose not to look lustfully at a woman or a man. This includes not forming sensual pictures in your mind. Job tells his secret in controlling his eyes.
“I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I look upon a maid?” (Job 31:1).
[Now, some of you may not know how to go about making that covenant and sticking to it, but I promise we will talk about that and more later on.]
* Interest in her family
The person should have a lot of interest in the other person’s family. You can tell a lot about a person by looking at their family sometimes. Also, when you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. You must win the family over if you are going to get the girl.
2. Eye 2 Leadership
* Work through her authorities
The father has the final authority in the marriage decision of his daughter.
“If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins” (Exodus 22:17).
“So then he who give her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better” (1 Corinthians 7:38).
The father is the guardian of his daughter, and he has been protecting her since her birth. So, you better believe that he is going to be extra cautious about who he will hand her over to. If says you ain’t right, then you ain’t right, buddy.
You must remember that adults have been around far longer than you have. They know when something isn’t right about another person, and if they don’t like you being with a certain person, you better cut the relationship off immediately. If your feelings are extremely great for this person, ask your parents what it is you both need to work on so that you can stay together. Although, sometimes your parents may not know what it is about the person they don’t like, they just know something isn’t right. Take that instinct seriously.
Obviously if you parents are prejudice only about the other person’s skin color, deformity, or nationality, that is something that you should ignore. It has no baring on whether the person will make an adequate mate.
For those of you who do not have a father, or he is struggling with a serious sin issues and is not in a position to decide who is right for you, then you must then look to your grandfather and mother to make the decision.
3. Spirit 2 Spirit
* Praise
Praise focuses on character qualities which a woman has already developed in her life, while flattery focuses on features and abilities which were not of her doing.
Your goal should be to focus on the character qualities of the person rather than their physical qualities. Is she kind? Is he compassionate? Is she grateful? Is he wise?
I was in the gym one day doing some bicep curls when I noticed a group of girls chatting over by the calve machine. Each one of them was wearing a skimpy T-shirt that showed their bellybuttons and shorts that were way shorter than short. Immediately I looked away from them. It did not matter to me that they were tan, thin, beauties. Although I do like a pretty girl just like the next guy, I was turned off by their immodesty. What I want is a girl that is modest. A girl that is careful about the sort of clothes she is wearing. Not someone that flashes everything for the world to see. That is an example of looking at character rather than looks.
4. Love 2 Give
* Give
Unlike lust, which focuses on getting what you want when you want it, we should seek to give. The basic element of love is giving. Whereas lust can’t wait to get, love can always wait to give.
5. Recognize Marriage Responsibilities
* Discern God’s timing
The worst, most terrible mistake you can make is to get married before you are ready and before you have found the right person. Now it’s time to figure out what God wants you to do. Spend time reading His words in the Bible and in deep prayer. Wait for Him to give you an answer on what your next move will be. Allow Him to decide when it is time to make the “marriage move.”
* Be decisive
At this point in the relationship, it is time to put an end to the whole dating process. You have now been together long enough to know how you feel about each other. Your next step should be to decide whether you are right for each other, or if it is time to part ways. If you are following the Godly courtship rules, it shouldn’t take long to get to know this person. It is time to make your decisions quickly, firmly, and clearly.
6. Full Approval First
* Avoid all appearance of evil.
“Abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22).
You must make absolutely sure that God approves of this person. If there is anything that seems evil about him or her such as a very prominent sin problem, you must stay away until it has been settled.
Also, make sure your parents are in agreement that this is in upstanding person who is pure in heart.
7. Heart 2 Heart
* Now it’s time for you to “get hitched”
(AKA: Get Married)
Laura will make a great sister-in-law, and she can even bake our wedding cake! 
