I have no idea what is being discussed here.
. . .
*is too lazy to read up*
Anywhom. I exist. ish. I'm gonna social or something. *Actually just came to make fun of Marvin D's dancing* Oh. And because Woody asked, and I'm only rude to all of my friends, with the occasional out of character moment of kindness. So. I agreed.
Life has been lifey. Trying to move right now, have been for months, with no place to go. Running out of time though, so that's always fun. School is hectic, but a college is chosen. I just need to have like five minutes to apply
![Razz :p](./images/smilies/razz.gif)
I also am applying to a local theater for a job, so that's going to be great if all works out.
I'm not in choir or theater this semester, although I was last semester and it was fantastic. I was in beauty and the beast in theater; just a background character, but I was in every scene that had any more than just the main characters. OH MY GOSH AT THE COSTUMES CHANGES. literally. changing from a giant silverware set to a villager and back again about 5 times through the entire show was exhausting. especially because my costume didn't fit and they had to pin it every change.
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/razz.gif)
It's not my fault all that rehearsing made me slim before the show. I tried to warn people.
![No way :noway:](./images/smilies/eusa_snooty.gif)
(On the bright side, getting to say everything was too big rather than too small is always a confidence booster for a teenage girl
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/razz.gif)
) also the silverware costume's utensil pieces were nearly 7 foot tall when I was wearing the costume...and they spread outward about 2-3 feet. So going through back/side stage and in the halls with 80 other students, most in the same style costumes, was a nightmare. And we did 2 rehearsals and 5 shows in 3 days. So that was literally the most insane thing I have ever done.
...And I'm going back next semester.
As far as the rest, choir was great. Before I left I made it into the advanced acapella choir as a Soprano 1
![Dancing \:D/](./images/smilies/eusa_dance.gif)
So that's cool. But I had to drop out because classes were too expensive.
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/sad.gif)
alas. I shall return, my love.
I kind of think I have to return to something social, because not going to classes, and no longer being in youth, has kind of dropped my social levels to...oh, I don't know. Non-existent?
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/razz.gif)
I was doing pretty well for a while. But, ultimately, I am an introvert. And introverts tend to recluse themselves quite often. Especially when they have social anxiety and a deathly severe allergy to stupid people.
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/sad.gif)
I kind of went backwards from all my progress, but. Meh. Less time I have to spend making my hair decent for public exposure.
In all seriousness, though, I've been alright. Just growing up, really. I'm not exactly little Sam anymore, and I've really had to realize that over the past couple of years. A lot of adult choices and life altering decisions I've had to make, and still have to. My family's in the process of trying to move because our house is being sold, but we've been looking for months and there aren't any houses available in this area. But it's an area we have to stay in due to medical facility ties and church responsibilities, so with time running out and no place to do, that's a fun situation.
I'm handling it well enough, I suppose. I've overcome a lot over the years, despite still struggling. I get to look back and see who I was, and it be a different person than who I am today. And that's a really nice feeling, even when you have a long way to go, to be able to see how much you've overcome. I still struggle with depression, and admittedly my anxiety has been pretty rough lately. But I've gotten through and stopped doing and going through a lot of things regarding that. So in perfect honesty, while my social interaction has kind of gone a few steps back as of recently, it's mostly just been due to busyness and such life like things as growing up brings.
I've also had a lot of time for personal reflection and such as well, really. In my beliefs and all that goes along with that. I was called to ministry a little over a year ago; youth outreach and ministry, to be exact. So I've done a lot of Bible study, prayer, and reflection over that. My particular calling, or vision, rather, is that I'm going to build a youth center in my hometown. Although it will be more like a campus, with a lot of activities and opportunities for area youth to get involved in. It'll have education, and athletic, and artistic, and volunteer, and faith-based, and special abilities and opportunities, chances to pursue different paths and interests for everyone.
The campus itself will be Christian founded, obviously. But it will be more of a "Let your faith be seen rather than heard" kind of place, in the sense that it won't be a specifically/overtly religious or "preachy" kind of place. More that there'll be freedom to talk about Christ, and to share Him with anyone who wants to know--But that that knowledge won't be out of guilt, or obligation, but rather that it will be promoted out of influence, or genuine intrigue/interest, by the questioning party. Because really I find that, just living out Jesus I'm someone's life, tends to let Him be seen a lot more in a life that isn't particularly looking for/towards Him, than literally jerking their head towards Him and being like, "OR ELSE."
Honestly I just want a place, with a similar goal of Whitsend, to be somewhere that young people have to go, when there's nothing else for them. Where they can chill out and spend time with friends, or they can learn things and do homework. Where they can try an activity or a new hobby, or join a club, or a team. Where they can either goof off and be young for once, or they can be given a chance or opportunity to do something that will help them now or in the future.
Most importantly, though, is that I just want them to have a safe haven, where they can feel confident and accepted and loved, and just be themselves. Somewhere where they can realize that they aren't alone, and actually be able to feel that, both peer and leader, regarding. There's going to be a lot of support and education regarding a lot of different things, like mental health and abuse victims, as well as addiction support, and a safe house on campus for homeless/situational suffering teens who need a place to go and stay. There's really a lot of miscommunication out there in a lot of these topics, and I intend to educate both peers and leaders alike on things such as mental health, and how to properly handle them, both experiencing and caring for them.
Really, just showing them love. True, actual love, to the fullest extent possible. The motto I want to have is "Don't tell someone Jesus loves them unless you're willing to love them, too." Which is one of the biggest things for me. We have to be willing to get our hands dirty washing the feet of others, like Jesus did, and actually show them what love is. It's not "I'll only love you if", nor, "or else I won't love you." It's unconditional.
Young people need to see that love. They need to hear it, know it, to feel it. They need to stop being called the problem, and start being seen as the upcoming hope to fix it. They need to know how God sees them, rather than the world around them, and they, themselves. That's why I want to found the campus. And also lead the youth ministry that runs within the campus, in one of the facilities. Because ministry in and of itself, preaching, particularly prophetic preaching (DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT STARTING A DEBATE HERE. okay? okay. =p), is something I've been called into and given the gift of, to which I've already utilized that gift twice and gave a message/mini sermon to my entire church congregation, which is about 2-300 people. (Yes. Quiet, introverted Sam preached in front of hundreds of people. Fascinating.)
But, it really was truly amazing. And getting to bring all of these things together in one place, is truly going to be amazing as well. It's going to take a heck of a lot of training and funding alone, though. Training first, which is why I'm going for a double major, and possibly minor, in college. Business Management and Youth Ministry as my majors, and possibly a theatric arts minor. but that's still up in the air.
Otherwise, The Sam has just been being a Sam, who is sadly growing up and is no longer little Sam.
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/sad.gif)
Schooling, reading, drawing, writing, making music, murde-- I mean. uh. ...
WHAT HAS THE TOO DONE WITHOUT ME. *refers to each individual person with each individual life, in the sense of "what have you been up to?", as a blanket stereotype to cover the labeled box known as the ToO community as a whole."