Jokes

gimp80995 · Post by **gimp80995** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:40 pm

A few of you have heard this from me on IM, but many of you haven't

Tonight I cooked, and me cooking around my parents is an event that's always open to jokes (the good-humored kind).

1) Dad gets home and shortly after I announce that supper's ready. Mom told dad (who was sitting in the living room) that I made supper and Dad just looked at her and said "why do ya think I'm still sitting in here?"

2) I pourd a cup of coffee.....and I typically use those NectaSweet tablets.....well Dad didn't know what they were so I commented "the antidote for the poison I put in the chicken"

3) It was my turn to say grace tonight. Well typically I go through the normal "Father, please bless this food and use it to nourish our bodies" beginning...........when I was done praying Dad said "Ya know....I really don't think that it's a good sign when the cook prays 'PLEASE bless this food' "

4) Many of you know or have heard that I have some swollowing difficulties and occasionally choke on food and beverages.........I swolled my coffee wrong and my dad said "great, she took the antidote (see number 2) and she's already dying"

A quick disclaimer for any of you who think the above was totally cruel........
1) the above during supper tonight was extremely mild compared to other jokes around here

2) all jokes are in good-humor and never meant to offend. Everyone in this family knows that if they are offended, that they can tell the other person and the other person will do whatever they can to avoid repeating it.

3) Just picture my family being comprised of personalities such as Brian, myself, hawkeye........and there are other,s but I can't think of names right off hand.........anyway you get the idea that while we all in the house can be serious when we need to be, the general rule is being as un-serious as possible.

Peace Out

-Gimp

Lizzy · Post by **Lizzy** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:14 pm

Agent DeWhite wrote:
By the way Lizzy, you have the best siggy. 'Tis so true!

-DeWhite

Thank-You! I read it in a classroom at the junior high that I used to tutor at. I thought it applied to me really well since if I couldn't laugh at myself I'd do an awful lot of crying!

Azariah Ben Yaakov · Post by **Azariah Ben Yaakov** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:25 pm

2:

a blonde sits at the bus stop. falls asleep, wakes up and realizes she missed the 44 bus, so she takes the 22 bus twice

a blonde opens her refrigerator, and pulls out the orange juice, pours some into a glass, and sits and stares at the box for hours, because it says concentrate.

ok 1 more

a blonde is putting on her make up, and smeers it all over her forhead because she could not make up her mind about what color of eye shadow 2 put on.

This is stupid but i dont think it is inapropriete:

3 dudes walking in a dessert, ajeany pops up and says i will give u 3 wishes/1 each; u will slide down a slide and whatever u yell, u will land in a pool of. the first guy slides, yells money!!!!!!! the second guy goes, snd yells chocolate milk!!!!!!! and the 3rd guy goes and yells whheeeeeeeee!!!!!!

That is disgusting i know, but all the adults i told it 2 busted a gut so i hope it wasnt over the limit.

gimp80995 · Post by **gimp80995** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:52 am

livin4messiah wrote:
This is stupid but i dont think it is inapropriete:

3 dudes walking in a dessert, ajeany pops up and says i will give u 3 wishes/1 each; u will slide down a slide and whatever u yell, u will land in a pool of. the first guy slides, yells money!!!!!!! the second guy goes, snd yells chocolate milk!!!!!!! nad the 3rd guy goes and yells whheeeeeeeee!!!!!!

That is disgusting i know, but all the adults i told it 2 busted a gut so i hope it wasnt over the limit.

Yeah, a little disgusting.........I won't tell that one to my folks......but still funny

Peace Out

-Gimp