Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 10:13 pm
What dideth you thinketh? ![Smile :)](./images/smilies/smile.gif)
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/smile.gif)
And once again my little sister and I share veiws here......I was going to post a similar post yesterday, but I ran out of time at the library, and I was to worked up to make a post without turning this thread into a fight (which was accomplished without my help).Country Girl wrote:AM...
That post was really uncalled for... IMO... I'm not saying that you're bad... just that your anger is misplaced.
And I, like EB will not try to consol you or calm you down either... Quite frankly, you need to grow up some and get over it. He's NOT trying to FORCE somethign down your throat. He's giving you good, sound advice. Filling in gaps.
I really don't see why/ how you could get mad at someone when they tell you to... " seek Godly, wise adult counsel, prefereably people who know you, are older than you, and, if possible, your parents. "
That is awesome advice.
"So says the fool before his folly." yeah.. that probably stung, but he's right. WE do NOT know how to "run" our lives... As Christains WE are not SUPPOSED to run our lives.. Christ is..
If you wish to ignore my post, please cease misusing Melissa I as an example.
I am PROUD of him for standing up and saying that. I would do the same. I would not appreciate people making light of my situation either...
Justin... I do not remember if I said anything about you an Melissa in any way, but I appreciate the both of you and what you stand for. Thank you. Thanks to the both of you for keeping it that way. You are both awesome friends, and great examples. I'm sorry if I said anything derogatory towards either of you about your relationship...
You are indeed, wise beyond your yearsMr mellow wrote:Maybe that's the way it should be........since we've all (or almost all) used hawkeye and Melissa's relationship as an "example".....I'll do it again here........hawkeye and Melissa didn't go around publicly informing everyone of their feelings for each other (not until they were engaged--er betroved). Hawekeye did approach me once on a simi-related subject about a "friend" (yes, I am intentionally leaving details out) a couple months before they got engaged, but didn't make it known who the friend was......maybe we should take their example in this area and if we happen to like someone here, wait until it is obvioulsy God's leading (not our own unpredicatble human emotions) telling us this is the right person. If for no other reason, to keep our private lives....uh.....PRIVATEEugene Blackgaard wrote:
I dont think anyone is going to post about who they like anymore.
AIO Psyche wrote:Ok, I am gonna say one thing about the.......recent blow ups among the members, and then I won't say anything else.
Everyone, this thread was first intended to tell everyone that AM and myself were an item. Then, it turned into a 'this is what I beleive' thread. Which was perfectly fine. In fact, I enjoy such threads. But then, some people went a little over board. What you beleive is fine, but your opinion is just that; your opinion. Just because you don't think that dating is right, doesn't mean that it is the gospel truth. Just like since I think that dating is ok doesn't make it right for everyone. I care alot about AM, and just because we like each other alot, and we're an item here online, doesn't mean we're gonna run off together to Vegas and get married. So here is my advice.
Let's all agree to disagree. We can state our opinions, but let us remember that they are only our opinions. And let's try to be more considerate of other feelings and opions.
The guy is hilarious and rather animated, I must say.Dogbert wrote:What dideth you thinketh?
LovedbyGod wrote:*LBG weighs in on the subject*
The number one word I'd use to describe dating in the sense it is used in our world today would be: pointless.
I've argued against dating, but specifically dating as teens and preteens, on another Christian board. A few of the pros of dating were, "Dating in high school helps you prepare for 'the real world.'" and "It gives you experience, and helps you know how to act when you're in a serious relationship later in life."
Watson said something I really liked, "All this 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' stuff is annoying. Why? Because it demonstrates a wrong attitude toward marriage. Dating seems to trivialize it, and unfortunately, it allows for "experimentation" that EB alluded.
Dr. Laura said, "Dating is practice for divorce." I think she's totally correct. In the typical secular and [more and more] Christian preteen and teen relationships, you date someone when you are romantically attracted to them. We all know that those feelings do not last forever, they fade away. And when you are dating someone and you aren't romantically attracted to them anymore, why date them anymore? So you dump the person or the person dumps you. And you move on to your next relationship.
A common enough reason that people cheat on their spouses or get divorces is because they "aren't in love anymore". Like Love is something they slipped into, got married, but when they pick themselves up and dry off, they can get a divorce.
I am 17 years old and [like I think I said before] I've never dated. I believe I'm a fairly intelligent person. I think I'm well rounded, I have a good family and church family, I love God. I don't consider myself out of touch with the world or less of a person because I've never dated or had a romantic relationship. But I think that's what our schools and media and culture in general is telling us.
This new movie, "The 40 year old virgin" is disgusting. The main character is a man who hasn't slept with anyone and his friends are going to "fix it" for him. That's the kind of culture we live in. If you haven't dated or had sex by the time you're 14, you're a weirdo and probably too sheltered. It bugs me something fierce, but I'm watching my friends from youth group go through their 3 week long relationships with kids at school and then they are heartbroken and then repeat the process...
What purpose does dating serve? I can't see a SINGLE thing dating does that being friends with and spending time with the opposite sex can't!
Long I know...I was trying to keep it novel size!
I believe courting is the way to go. In a sociology class at my liberal college, I was the only person who said I'd court. [They'd shown a video that made courting look so rediculous and out there. No touching, no being alone, 1 hour visits on the weekends, 1 hour a week phone time, writting letters to each other...] The rest of the class didn't like my idea that dating was pointless. They thought you had to date someone to get to know them. I find that hilarious. Anyway, I think courting, as an adult, is the way to go!gimp80995 wrote:
And on the dating thing, I would agree. Even my bf and I aren't really "dating". Sorta in the middle of dating and courting. Most of the time when we're together, it's at church, or a church related event. Even though both of us are adults, we don't really go out alone. Now, we're both Christians, and would uphold Christian values, but still it's better to be in a group setting anyway.
I'm merely wondering: You believe touching and time alone is fine, in a courtship?LovedbyGod wrote:They'd shown a video that made courting look so rediculous and out there. No touching, no being alone
And that is something else that I dislike--nearly everyone assumes dating is natural and normal without truely examining its nature. Then when a person who believes in courtship (which has been around for millenia)comes along, he/she is ignored and laughed at.LovedbyGod wrote:I believe courting is the way to go. In a sociology class at my liberal college, I was the only person who said I'd court. [They'd shown a video that made courting look so rediculous and out there. No touching, no being alone, 1 hour visits on the weekends, 1 hour a week phone time, writting letters to each other...] The rest of the class didn't like my idea that dating was pointless. They thought you had to date someone to get to know them. I find that hilarious. Anyway, I think courting, as an adult, is the way to go!gimp80995 wrote:
And on the dating thing, I would agree. Even my bf and I aren't really "dating". Sorta in the middle of dating and courting. Most of the time when we're together, it's at church, or a church related event. Even though both of us are adults, we don't really go out alone. Now, we're both Christians, and would uphold Christian values, but still it's better to be in a group setting anyway.
gimp80995 wrote:OK, I know I'm running the risk of sounding like Jared here, but I've done some research: yeah, you guys know you're in for a long read now
There are two arguments commonly raised in favour of dating. Firstly "If people don't date, how will they learn to relate with the opposite sex?" and secondly "Dating is just cultural. Our culture dates, the Jewish culture courted.".....I'm going to debunk these myths by taking them to their logical conclusions.
The first statement can be reinterpreted positively two ways "Dating teaches people how to conduct [good] relationships with the opposite sex," or "Dating is the only way people can meet their partner in our society."......If the first statement were true, then we should see a growth in strong relationships and strong marriages since the invention of dating earlier this century.....Instead, we see an exponential increase in divorce, date rape and many other stains on society. The evidence shows that dating does NOT build strong relationships at all! For the last 1900 years, people have been building good relationships with the opposite sex without dating.
What about meeting your partner? How can anyone expect to meet their mate if they don't date? I question if dating is the best environment to determine if someone has the qualities you desire in a mate....Much better opportunities lie in team ministry, or families visiting families, etc, where there is no emotional involvement, and no agenda to give a good appearance....Then partners can truly judge how that person acts in a variety of circumstances, before they even commence in their relationship.
Some people say that dating is our culture. But our culture also says that you should sleep with your partner and live together for a while before you get married, if you get married at all.....By what standard do you call the first "acceptable culture" and the second "unacceptable?" The same standard must be used to judge both, and the Bible is not ambiguous in its teaching on relationships.....How then can we justify drawing the line between emotional promiscuity vs. physical promiscuity instead of complete fidelity vs. promiscuity?
Also, getting back to what hawkeye said about talking to his dad in depth.......those of you who have said you place the Lord and / or the Bible at the center of your lives, may want to consider that in Biblical times, paretns were HIGHLY involved when it came to their children's future spouse. I know that nowadays we think of it being an "arranged marriage" where the parent says "you're going to marry ______! End of discussion", but that's not the case. The children consented, and sometimes the man would go to the woman's father and make arrangements to marry (a tradition many still hold today). At any rate, parents were involved then, and relationships lasted (like they're suppose to).
OK, I have more I could say........but I am needing to get off of here now. I might post more later.
Peace Out
-Gimp
I draw the line at holding hands. I want to kiss my husband at the alter. I think alone time is fine, but not in a bedroom, or a car, or a movie theater, etc. How about in the living room, someone on the couch and the other in a chair. I don't see anything wrong with that.Continental Admiral wrote: I'm merely wondering: You believe touching and time alone is fine, in a courtship?
I don't know that I 100% agree, but I think it is awesome for someone to wait until they are married for their first kiss--that would certainly make it memoriable! Not that I would know anything about kissing... but anyway, I just want to clarify, by alone in the car do you mean totally not at all, or just "parked"?LovedbyGod wrote:I draw the line at holding hands. I want to kiss my husband at the alter. I think alone time is fine, but not in a bedroom, or a car, or a movie theater, etc. How about in the living room, someone on the couch and the other in a chair. I don't see anything wrong with that.Continental Admiral wrote: I'm merely wondering: You believe touching and time alone is fine, in a courtship?
Again, these are young adults we're talking about, not 16 year olds...I think two adults can be alone in the same room.
I would a go a little bit fartherLovedbyGod wrote:I draw the line at holding hands. I want to kiss my husband at the alter. I think alone time is fine, but not in a bedroom, or a car, or a movie theater, etc. How about in the living room, someone on the couch and the other in a chair. I don't see anything wrong with that.Continental Admiral wrote: I'm merely wondering: You believe touching and time alone is fine, in a courtship?
Again, these are young adults we're talking about, not 16 year olds...I think two adults can be alone in the same room.
I'm pro-dating and I don't prescribe to those arguments.gimp80995 wrote:There are two arguments commonly raised in favour of dating. Firstly "If people don't date, how will they learn to relate with the opposite sex?" and secondly "Dating is just cultural. Our culture dates, the Jewish culture courted.".....
There's nothing at all wrong with having parents involved. I don't think anyone here has said they've got a problem with such parental involvement. The issue is, sometimes couples would like time alone. However, at the same time, while I believe dating is acceptable, I demand that whoever desires to ask for my hand in marriage, must ask my father\mother before they ask me. The permission must be given before such an engagement occurs. It is simply important that the parents consent. However, it is not a Biblical mandate, nor a Biblical arrangement that we must have our parents hanging all over us while we're with someone of the opposite gender, so the argument that "just because people in the Bible did it, we should do it, too" doesn't hold up (That's being said in a kind manner). I could use the same argument that since women wear burkas in the middle east, we should too, since it keeps men from having a problem with women in public. If two people aren't mature enough to be in a room alone, without their parents there, they simply shouldn't be dating\courting\betrothing. Period. End of discussion. I have no issue with those people who think that courting\dating\betrothing is the proper way to go about things. Everyone has their own choice as to the method by which they get to know their spouse -- as long as it is done in a moral manner -- but I do take issue with those who claim that one method is Biblically commanded or preferred. It simply isn't true.gimp80995 wrote:Also, getting back to what hawkeye said about talking to his dad in depth.......those of you who have said you place the Lord and / or the Bible at the center of your lives, may want to consider that in Biblical times, paretns were HIGHLY involved when it came to their children's future spouse. I know that nowadays we think of it being an "arranged marriage" where the parent says "you're going to marry ______! End of discussion", but that's not the case. The children consented, and sometimes the man would go to the woman's father and make arrangements to marry (a tradition many still hold today). At any rate, parents were involved then, and relationships lasted (like they're suppose to).
I don't agree that two young adults can't go to a theater, or even be in a car alone, but I am glad that we agree on the above, at least (I.e., two adults can be alone in the same room alone).LovedbyGod wrote:Again, these are young adults we're talking about, not 16 year olds...I think two adults can be alone in the same room.