Raising Children in the Church

odysseyfan1 · Post by **odysseyfan1** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:02 am

Ayn Rand wrote:And what I'm saying is yes I didn't want to go to even one service every week when I was kid but because my parents didn't force me I do go to Church now and I go to multiple services a week because I want to because it's my choice that I've made to pursue a relationship with Christ. Sure most of us spend more time doing other stuff, I'm not sure what your point is there, are you saying we should spend more time in Church than we do anything else?

No, I'm simply saying that 3-4 services isn't going to hurt us when we spend so much time doing other things.

jelly · Post by **jelly** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:01 am

Saying it four times for good measure, eh?

Yes; we should want to go to church, and it's probably a good habit, but that's not the point. The point is that it's not healthy for your parents to force you to go, because your parents can't force you to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

John Chrysostom · Post by **John Chrysostom** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:35 am

And Jelly and I are saying that one service a week caused resentment in us and would have forever alienated us from Christianity if we had been forced to continue going.

Totally agree with what Jelly said above.

Termite · Post by **Termite** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:44 am

Back-tracking really quickly...

odysseyfan1 wrote:Are you saying that parents should let their kids make their own decisions about church attendance?

Uh, no. Top mentioned 'kid salvation' in the context about asking Jesus into your heart as a four year old.

Yes, if a child truly did understand that gift, then they COULD accept Him... but the parents are still accountable for their child's spiritual growth for many years until the child is old enough to make the choice to grow in Him on his own. The parents still need to be encouraging and be there if the child has any questions- but love relationships are between two people. Ultimately our relationships with Jesus need to be between ourselves and Him, ESPECIALLY when we're old enough to understand that. (on another note, I think the age of accountability varies depending on the person. I know some twelve years olds who are really mature, then others who are not. So.)

Look, if my teenager didn't want to go to church, I'd be torn. As Ayn and Jelly said, forcing someone to do something only leads to bitterness... but as a parent, I would still want to know my child is safe in Christ. *sighs* That'd be hard, and that's all I'm saying. Thankfully for me the spiritual deadness I experienced was of my own doing in pulling away from God while being really stupid and not knowing how to get back to Him, even though I tried. So I've always wanted to go to church... Especially now since I'm back on track.

Would I want to go to church twice a day? Sure! I never do anything on Sunday and it gets kinda boring. =P But I distinctly remember hating it as a kid when I was too young to be in children's church and was stuck in the service. Look, children CAN NOT understand on the level that adults can, which is why I believe it's important to have separate classes... but that's another topic.

Anyway, have at it with each other now. I'm done.

odysseyfan1 · Post by **odysseyfan1** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:18 pm

Saying it four times for good measure, eh?

Haha, no, we should want to go to worship God.

Of course some kids won't want to, but, I say, tough luck. Our family goes to church. We feed and clothe you, provide for you, and as long as you're living under our roof, you will go, or be dragged kicking and screaming.

Seriously though, if they want to move out, and provide for themselves, they they can start making decisions like that.

John Chrysostom · Post by **John Chrysostom** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:25 pm

Well first off dragging a kid kicking and screaming into church would disrupt things for everyone else a bit. But also, seriously? Even if dragging your kid into church causes them to abandon God the second they get out of your house it's the right thing to do?

jelly · Post by **jelly** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:35 pm

odysseyfan1 wrote:
Saying it four times for good measure, eh?
Haha, no, we should want to go to worship God. Of course some kids won't want to, but, I say, tough luck. Our family goes to church. We feed and clothe you, provide for you, and as long as you're living under our roof, you will go, or be dragged kicking and screaming. Seriously though, if they want to move out, and provide for themselves, they they can start making decisions like that.

I was referring to the fact that you made a quadruple post.

It's since been corrected, I see.

We should want to, but if kids don't, how can you say 'tough luck'?

Do you honestly think dragging them there every sunday against their will is going to make them want to worship God? No, it's probably going to make them hate it more and more, and in many cases, they'll turn their back on Christianity entirely when they're finally independent. Church should not become a required activity like school that kids will only come to dread. So many people just have bad memories associated with church, many because they were probably forced their growing up and it just made them hate it. Parents should never drag their kids to church 'kicking and screaming'. That is doing absolutely no good in any way.

Of course, it does depend on the age of the kids. If a kid is too young to be left at home by himself, then I'd say it's perfectly reasonable for the parents to make him come along. But as soon as a child is independent enough to stay home by themselves, like 13 or so, then please tell me why it's necessary for them to forced to go to church and what good that would do.

odysseyfan1 · Post by **odysseyfan1** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 2:41 pm

Ayn Rand wrote:Well first off dragging a kid kicking and screaming into church would disrupt things for everyone else a bit. But also, seriously? Even if dragging your kid into church causes them to abandon God the second they get out of your house it's the right thing to do?

Haha, yeah I suppose it would disrupt things a bit!

The Bible says to "Train up a child in the way he should go, and in the end he will not depart from it" or something very close to that. And of course, I was being a little silly, when I talked about dragging them kicking and screaming.

That's why parents should spank their kids while they're young, so they won't be disrespectful when they're older. And that's really the root of the problem. Parents don't spank their kids, and so they misbehave. But that's a whole different debate, that I would LOVE to talk about if someone cares to start the topic. (Uh-oh, I see the mods and they look angry!

)

John Chrysostom · Post by **John Chrysostom** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 2:50 pm

Spanking in of itself won't solve the problem. My parents spanked me and I'm pretty sure Jelly's did too and yet we erred from the way they had taught us but as we've said came back specifically because our parents didn't force us to go to church.

odysseyfan1 · Post by **odysseyfan1** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 3:26 pm

Ayn Rand wrote:Spanking in of itself won't solve the problem. My parents spanked me and I'm pretty sure Jelly's did too and yet we erred from the way they had taught us but as we've said came back specifically because our parents didn't force us to go to church.

Well, it might not help the resentment, but it will help the open rebellion, and arguing.

The Top Crusader · Post by **The Top Crusader** » Sun May 01, 2011 8:14 am

What about a compromise of every other Sunday, or the kid has to go every week but they can bring a random novel in a Bible cover or something?

The Town of Odyssey

Raising Children in the Church

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