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Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2021 6:26 pm
by Steve
The Rules
  • This is hand-to-hand combat. No weapons of any kind are allowed. Only your god-given appendages.
  • You can't fight a kid. Or any of the really old dudes. I understand that really narrows your options, but it's just not fair. Whit is fair game, though, as he is absolutely ripped.
  • The fight will take place in the main dining area at Whit's End. Remember this when making your selection, as these characters have the home-field-advantage. They know the terrain. Again: only hand-to-hand combat is allowed, so no chairs, tables, spoons, etc... can be used.
My Predictions

I could easily beat:
  • Wooton Basset: Wooton is too kind-hearted to really be a dangerous enemy. I think I could probably trip him or something and win.
  • Dale Jacobs: Dale doesn't, like, do anything from what I remember. This should be a breeze.
  • Jason Whittaker: Controversial, but have you heard Jason lately? He sounds tired. His glory days are behind him. I will triumph.
  • Don Polehaus: Don is a total scrub. I'll wipe the floor with him.
A fair fight:
  • Connie Kendall: Based on images, Connie and I have about the same muscle mass. She's definitely more wiry than me, so it'd be a challenge.
  • Bart Rathbone: Bart is a slovenly mess, but he's scrappy. He'd definitely cheat too. I think I could I could use verbal attacks to help my chances.
  • Eugene Meltsner: Eugene is a weird little nerd, but he's so smart that he probably knows how to fight really well. On the flip side, I bet he has fragile little bones.
  • Dr. Regis Blackgaard. 10 minutes of me kicking and punching a computer until it comes to life and eats me.
They would kill me:
  • Mr. Whittaker. Obviously. Whit is jacked and prepared to throw down at any time.
  • Harlow Doyle: A complete beast of a man. He will crush me. No contest.
  • George Barclay: He may be a pastor, but he won't hesitate to obliterate another human.
  • Joanne Allen: An exception to my old people rule, but I'm so inherently terrified of Joanne that I will cower in fear the moment I see her.
Who could you beat in a fight? And why?

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2021 7:34 pm
by Catspaw
Steve, this is one of the most unique threads I have ever had the provilege of reading on the ToO. Congrats! It reminds me of when I was in high school and worked in a grocery store and one of the evening mangers would joke around about which employees would win in a fight. \:D/

I think I could beat Robert Mitchell in a fight. Sure, he has technique and skill and training, but I have over a decade of anger of how he left Connie. :sniff:

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2021 6:05 am
by The Top Crusader
This brings me back to the ranking system of "8th Grade Toughest Boys!" a friend of mine made when we were in 8th grade.

It'd be kind of weird if he had made it more recently.

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:03 pm
by Jonathan
Steve wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 6:26 pmA fair fight:
  • Bart Rathbone: Bart is a slovenly mess, but he's scrappy. He'd definitely cheat too. I think I could I could use verbal attacks to help my chances.
I dunno man, Chad Pearson knocked him over pretty easy. Or maybe that means Bart would still be a fair fight and Chad would mop the floor with us.

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2021 9:52 pm
by Steve
Jonathan wrote: Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:03 pm
Steve wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 6:26 pmA fair fight:
  • Bart Rathbone: Bart is a slovenly mess, but he's scrappy. He'd definitely cheat too. I think I could I could use verbal attacks to help my chances.
I dunno man, Chad Pearson knocked him over pretty easy. Or maybe that means Bart would still be a fair fight and Chad would mop the floor with us.
Chad Pearson was a god amongst men. Only John Whittaker could best him, honestly.

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:35 pm
by bookworm
When I saw this thread's title my immediate first thought was to make sure Whit wasn't on your list. Most people might be inclined to choose him because of his age, but that would be a big mistake. You wouldn't stand a change against someone who would look like this as a warrior man.

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2021 8:32 am
by Steve
bookworm wrote: Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:35 pm When I saw this thread's title my immediate first thought was to make sure Whit wasn't on your list. Most people might be inclined to choose him because of his age, but that would be a big mistake. You wouldn't stand a change against someone who would look like this as a warrior man.
Thank you so much for bringing this image to my attention. You are right. No one could stand a chance against that warrior man.

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2021 8:16 pm
by Catspaw
I'm scared of Whit now. :bolt:

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2021 9:35 am
by Steve
I have updated my signature to reflect the fact that John Avery Whittaker can not be killed.

Re: Odyssey Characters You Could Totally Beat In A Fight

Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2021 7:55 pm
by Catspaw
Haha, I love that, Steve! Awesome. Yay for bookworm remembering this amazing image!