if Harry Potter had been written by Lemony Snicket
if Harry Potter had been written by Lemony Snicket
I was digging through some old files of mine and found this little peice I had written. It's a little dated, though since it refers to books which are no longer the latest ones in both the HP and LS series.
Dear Reader
If you are hoping to find in this book a happy and enchanting tale about a young wizard going to magic school, then you are sadly mistaken. For from the beginning when Harry is attacked by several soul-sucking creatures, to the end when a great tragedy occurs, Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts is filled with nothing by misery and woe.
In this volume Harry encounters such unpleasant things as a house for dark wizards, a teacher who looks like a frog, a disturbing prophecy, a pen that slices one's hand open, the death of a loved-one and a pair of radish-shaped earrings.
It is my sad, but very profitable duty to record the school years of the Potter Orphan but obviously you'd be much better off reading some other slightly-less miserable book such as Lemony Snicket's "The Slippery Slope".
With all due respect
J.K. Rowling
Dear Reader
If you are hoping to find in this book a happy and enchanting tale about a young wizard going to magic school, then you are sadly mistaken. For from the beginning when Harry is attacked by several soul-sucking creatures, to the end when a great tragedy occurs, Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts is filled with nothing by misery and woe.
In this volume Harry encounters such unpleasant things as a house for dark wizards, a teacher who looks like a frog, a disturbing prophecy, a pen that slices one's hand open, the death of a loved-one and a pair of radish-shaped earrings.
It is my sad, but very profitable duty to record the school years of the Potter Orphan but obviously you'd be much better off reading some other slightly-less miserable book such as Lemony Snicket's "The Slippery Slope".
With all due respect
J.K. Rowling
- Azariah Ben Yaakov
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Well duh.livin4messiah wrote:witches, goblins, sorcerors, etc. those things are not of God
BTW is that a Halo 2 avatar that you have? Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!
Sorry if I offended anyone with my brass words and sarcasm, j/j around here a little bit. No offense intended.
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i dont know, i think it ishalo, i found it on the gallery at my site, and it looked kool, so im usin itJman 009 wrote:Well duh.livin4messiah wrote:witches, goblins, sorcerors, etc. those things are not of God
BTW is that a Halo 2 avatar that you have? Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!
Sorry if I offended anyone with my brass words and sarcasm, j/j around here a little bit. No offense intended.
Last edited by Azariah Ben Yaakov on Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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yeah u r rite, but ek is SUPPOEDlYmakin mea new avvy so yeah....Jman 009 wrote:yeah, ok. But ya oughta notta use things that you don't know what they are, could get ya into trouble, like it just did.
Last edited by Azariah Ben Yaakov on Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Off topic: Who says "killing" people isn't of God? God has killed many people.Jman 009 wrote: Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!
Murder is wrong. Killing is not.
“God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless.” Chester W. Nimitz
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i think its satin worship it teaches spel casting and whichcraft and concocting a war for politican gain. i think u showed do like teh germins in ww2 and burn those books!!!!!!!1
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i agree!!Bulk wrote:i think its satin worship it teaches spel casting and whichcraft and concocting a war for politican gain. i think u showed do like teh germins in ww2 and burn those books!!!!!!!1
*makes petition, with Top, and signs it*
Last edited by Azariah Ben Yaakov on Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- mr. mellow
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He was definitely kidding, in a slightly less than serious way. When Top suggests a Nazi-style book-burning, he usually isn't serious.mr. mellow wrote:he was kidding... I think.livin4messiah wrote:i agree!!Bulk wrote:i think its satin worship it teaches spel casting and whichcraft and concocting a war for politican gain. i think u showed do like teh germins in ww2 and burn those books!!!!!!!1
*makes petition, with Top, and signs it*
Let's discuss Ferder's humorous writing instead of debating endlessly about something we'll never agree upon, shall we?
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I think I would have found it more funny if I was familiar with either series of books, which will probably never happen...
Good job btw.
-Cowboy
Good job btw.
-Cowboy
Click on the image, you know you want to!
"I was placed in jail during the reign of Regis for double posting and spamming. I felt very naughty." -Danae Doyle
"This is the ToO...Not Wikipedia."-COT "I had some really good replies to that, but they were too rude, so I deleted them. Nice going, CoT. You made me be nice for once." -CA
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"I was placed in jail during the reign of Regis for double posting and spamming. I felt very naughty." -Danae Doyle
"This is the ToO...Not Wikipedia."-COT "I had some really good replies to that, but they were too rude, so I deleted them. Nice going, CoT. You made me be nice for once." -CA
"Alas, not even I could perform such a feat."-Trinny
Halo 2 is the pwnzors, if you cant play Halo 2 because it has guns and violence in it....then you can only play tetris and bejeweled. BUT WAIT, thats violence against blocks and gems...ohnoez. I own Halo, Halo 2, and the Halo 2 Multiplayer Map Pack. And it is leet as all get out and I havent started worshipping the devil or shooting people...on a side note, the new game called Black is like teh pwnzors.Jman 009 wrote:Well duh.livin4messiah wrote:witches, goblins, sorcerors, etc. those things are not of God
BTW is that a Halo 2 avatar that you have? Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!
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