Ask Mr. Philip Pirrip

[Marvin D.]

I refuse to eat what I don't know

[ric]

Look it up.

[Marvin D.]

I don't want to, so there

[ric]

*gives Marvin a piece of stale bread*

so THERE.

Ask me a question now. I refuse to allow this randomness.

[Amethystic]

Steamed sunscreen marinades! Is that a skin fungus I see on the left side of your nose? Does this salsa have chives in it? And why aren't there any fuzzy blue lights in here?! What kind of Swedish dance party is this?!!! Do you know what you need? Popcorn! See, isn't that better? And why don't you have any Broadway dancers in banana suits performing? Don't you have any class? And why is pink lemonade pink? Have you ever heard of pink lemons?! Why can't you be more like a duck? They're so much better at planning parties... have you ever been to a duck-hosted party? DO YOU KNOW WHY I CRY AT NIGHT?!?! Is your hair naturally that disheveled, or do you need a hairbrush?? Do you have ugly toenails? Would you ever consider marrying a Bulgarian princess and settling down in the northernmost regions of Russia to become an ice farmer and raise a brood of junior Interpol agents? Are you the chosen one? Is your chair the chosen one? Is your grandmother the chosen one? Would you be upset if I told everyone about your secret passion for knitting in front of the television while dressed as Little Orphan Annie and watching Rich Bride, Poor Bride reruns? (Oops.) Are you secretly attracted to lava lamps? Have you ever rigged an airplane to explode in mid-air? Can you swallow a Teacup Yorkie whole? If so, does it howl in your stomach while it's being melted down by your stomach acid??? Are the male pregnancy rumors true? If so, who's the father/mother/other parental unit? Are you also secretly a clone of Weird Al Yankovic? Why is my ceiling twitching like it has a leg cramp, even though it has no legs?! You're not one of those flakes who doesn't answer questions in his Q&A threads, are you?

(Well, I didn't get rid of the Randomness, but you have questions to answer now. )

[radgeek]

Should we get together and buy Marvin some fuzzy green slippers?

[ric]

Steamed sunscreen marinades! Is that a skin fungus I see on the left side of your nose? Nope. That's 'Your Demise'. Does this salsa have chives in it? Um, nope. And why aren't there any fuzzy blue lights in here?! *puts them up*What kind of Swedish dance party is this?!!! Oh, I'd have to say just your ordinary, everyday, Swedish dance party.Do you know what you need? Popcorn! See, isn't that better? Yes.And why don't you have any Broadway dancers in banana suits performing? Because, the Broadway dancers in banana suits were already booked.Don't you have any class? Yes.And why is pink lemonade pink? Because, pink is awesome. Have you ever heard of pink lemons?! Yes, they make pink lemonade with them.Why can't you be more like a duck? Quack.They're so much better at planning parties... have you ever been to a duck-hosted party?Nope. DO YOU KNOW WHY I CRY AT NIGHT?!?! Because I can't think of an intelligent way to answer that question. Is your hair naturally that disheveled, or do you need a hairbrush?? Yes.Do you have ugly toenails? No.Would you ever consider marrying a Bulgarian princess and settling down in the northernmost regions of Russia to become an ice farmer and raise a brood of junior Interpol agents? Oh yeah, baby.Are you the chosen one? All the way.Is your chair the chosen one? Nope.Is your grandmother the chosen one? Woah, did you seriously say that? Would you be upset if I told everyone about your secret passion for knitting in front of the television while dressed as Little Orphan Annie and watching Rich Bride, Poor Bride reruns? (Oops.) YES.Are you secretly attracted to lava lamps? Yes, but in a purely curious manner. Have you ever rigged an airplane to explode in mid-air? Nope.Can you swallow a Teacup Yorkie whole? No.If so, does it howl in your stomach while it's being melted down by your stomach acid??? Yes. Are the male pregnancy rumors true? Um.... *how should I answer that...* If so, who's the father/mother/other parental unit? Your mom.Are you also secretly a clone of Weird Al Yankovic? No, I'm not a clone, I perform this way.Why is my ceiling twitching like it has a leg cramp, even though it has no legs?! There are some things in this life that don't have answers. Like...why is there evil? Why are there crazy people? Why is my ceiling twitching like it has a leg cramp, even though it has no legs!?!?You're not one of those flakes who doesn't answer questions in his Q&A threads, are you? Yes.

[Amethystic]

My day: made.

And did you really stoop to making a 'Your Mom' joke? My mother would never get mixed up with the likes of you.

[Marvin D.]

Yes, you did it ric

Will you not get me fuzzy slippers?

[ric]

My day: made.

And did you really stoop to making a 'Your Mom' joke? My mother would never get mixed up with the likes of you.

I know. Sometimes when I run out of funny things to say, I have to fall back to the 'mom' method as a last resort. It actually worked out quite well in that instance though.

Yes, you did it ric

Will you not get me fuzzy slippers?

I don't know...I possibly maybe won't not improbably get you fuzzy slippers. That is, assuming I've made up my mind that I won't do what you've said that you wouldn't not want me to not do. And only if, of course, I've decided to not disbelieve whether or not what you didn't possibly say wasn't dishonest. *turns to rad* Rad, will we get Marvin fuzzy slippers?
Rad: Yes.
ric: Then the answer is yes. *walks away*






*comes back*
Make that no.

[Marvin D.]

lolwut.

[ric]

Was there a specific question in there, or was that just a exclamatory statement, to which there is no logical response?

[Marvin D.]

lolwut

[radgeek]

I really might bring J some fuzzy green slippers for real though.

[ric]

I really might bring J some fuzzy green slippers for real though.

Are you going to visit him?

lolwut

exactly.

[Lee]

When are you going to ask me a question?

[Marvin D.]

Exactly nothing?

And...Rad. If you come. Please don't bring green fuzzy slippers. Bring cockroaches (okay, not that), bring voice recordings of me, make me sing high notes, but DO NOT BRING THE SLIPPERS.

[Amethystic]

And did you really stoop to making a 'Your Mom' joke? My mother would never get mixed up with the likes of you.

I know. Sometimes when I run out of funny things to say, I have to fall back to the 'mom' method as a last resort. It actually worked out quite well in that instance though.

Well, I'll give you that.

Why doesn't Marvin like fuzzy green slippers?

[radgeek]

I wish I knew.

[Marvin D.]

Because fuzzy slippers are for girls.