Ok, so as the election results were coming in, I hastily scribbled a list of places I could move based on pending invites, friends and family or some other place where I could hide out from Obamalypse 2012:
1. England or Scotland: Probably the most likely, the downside of course is that the GBP is up so, even if domestic taxes skyrocket, I'll probably still be earning less and paying more in the UK. Not to mention the council tax. Bonus? They would give me a UK Passport after 5 years. UK Passport = eligibility for SOCIAAL PROGRAMMMMMS and recourse to PUBLIC FUNDS!
2. Canada: Canada is most likely. All I need is a driver's license, I'll load up the Beetle with as much guns, ammo and canned goods as I can fit, drive across the border and live in my distant cousin's basement in the boonies, while shooting all my food and sewing clothes out of animal skin. Definitely the coolest option so far.
3. Uganda: I have an open invitation to Uganda from one of my classmates which I keep promising to honor, in the same way one promises to honor an earlier statement about going over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Still, the weather is warmer, and I hear that malaria isn't such a big deal once you get used to it. Maybe I can work for the UN or an NGO or something, that would be cool. Also, no way the property taxes are higher, and I hear there is a lot of sunshine. And...giraffes. Actually that's probably just a stereotype like most everything anyone says about Africa ever.
4. India: Apart from the crippling heat, massive congestion, dust storms, traffic and ridiculous bureaucracy brought about by a legacy of British imperialism, India would be pretty sweet. The rupee is on the decline, which means a definite advantage. And with nearly 1.5 billion people, there's no chance anyone is finding you there EVER. Also I could buy like 1,000 bicycles for around $50 which is awesome. I don't even know what I would dp with that many bicycles, but it doesn't matter.
5. Sweden: Sweden would be awesome. I don't even know anyone in Sweden, and they probably wouldn't let me move there unless my name ended in "sen", but I can tack that on and try. Also, apparently it's one of those places where the welfare state is totally thriving, so you'll get all those perks without the madness and outrage associated. Also, apart from that crazy shooting spree, the Norwegian-region folks are pretty chill (no pun intended).
6. Cyprus: Some of my former classmates inherited an olive oil company there. I mean, how cool is that? I know nothing about making olive oil or Cyprus, but I figure if I sort of just show up, they won't send me home. And presumably all the olive oil I can drink!
7. Beruit. Why? BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHERE IT IS. Also, the weather is particularly seasonable this time of year.